Rules: explain why
Ready player one.
That has to be one of the cringiest movies I’ve seen, is tries so hard, too hard with it’s “WE LOVE YOU NERD, YOU’RE SO COOL FOR PLAYING GAMES AND GETTING THIS 80S REFERENCE” message and the whole “corporation bad, the people good” narrative seems written for toddlers… The fan service feels cheap and adds nothing to the story.
Finally, they trying to make the people believe that very attractive girl with a barely visible red tint spot on her face is “ugly”… Like wtf?
Yet it received decent reviews plus being one of the most successful movies of that year.
I loved the book. The movie killed the story and raped it’s corpse. I was genuinely furious when I left the theater.
I hate the movie for a lot of things I’ll never forgive.
For being insanely un-selfaware (The villain is a corporate executive trying really hard to pander to “the kids these days” and making an ass of himself in the process, which is… a good description of the movie)
Having the most boomer-ass ending (“Lol, the kids have to put down their phone every thursday!” Yeah I can see the face of the boomer writing that part of the story, ya know the fucking luddite did it on a typewriter)
Having the big reveal of the love interest actually being… a girl who’s still conventionally attractive even with the “She’s totally ugly you guys!” ultra fake looking scar on her face
But the number 1 thing that really grinded my gears was how the Iron Giant shows up in a movie for the first time since his introduction; to be turned into a weapon of war. Meaning it didn’t just kill the book and raped its corpse, it left a flaming bag of dogshit on the doorstep of one of the greatest animated films of all time.
(then Space Jam 2 uses him for… a sequence where he’s a big dumb monster wrecking a studio lot… Great… Okay, so no one in Holywood has seen the Iron Giant or understands his character in the slightest. He’s not fucking Mecha Godzilla god damn it)
The book was def a fun light read but the movie couldn’t even legally approach the same level of fun as the book due to licensing bullshit. It could’ve been a fun movie, and if I’m being honest I enjoy watching it from time to time, but it could’ve been so much better.