Funny story, so I ended up hooking up with the bartender at my local spot years ago. But was completely unaware.
Went there pretty much every day after work for a beer and dinner or a snack. It was a popular working ppl bar. Pretty much made friends with the whole staff over the years, went to weddings, gave relationship advice, etc. The bartender and I would often sneak to the bathroom to do some blow.
But this whole time I’m like yeah, sure I’m friends with some people here but mostly it’s just when I’m here and definitely nothing romantic. One night I ended up closing out, had just broke up with someone, and she insisted I stay while she closed up. Then she was like, you wanna stay at my place? I was like yeah I’ve had a bit to drink that’s really nice she was concerned. So I’m still 100% oblivious, sitting on her bed while she went to grab a beer, until she comes back in just in lingerie and beers. We didn’t drink the beers haha.
Hey guys, this guy fucks!
And we support and encourage him for that!
He polls favorably among men who claim to be alphas but slip roofies in girls drinks
Bro I think that stripper likes me
See also:
- Men who think the barista likes them because they read their name from a cup.
- Men who think they don’t need to tip their waitress and instead leave their number instead.
- Men who expect a happy ending when getting a massage and again, don’t leave a tip when they’re sent away without one.
I spend a lot of time at bars drinking and people watching and guys leaving bartenders their number happens a lot more than I expected. Though I’ve typically seen them leave yuuuuge tips + their number, as if it impresses the bartender or something.
Is a happy ending on a message like a smiley emoji?
Auto correct strikes again :)
8=m=>~ 🥲 Yes!
Bless your heart
Once again The Onion not being satire.
Hardtimes, they are a similar site and easily confused with the Onion, but let’s give proper credit to the publication.
Tbf, this community is called “The Onion”:-P
Yeah, Anyone that follows this community would probably recognize my username because I post a lot of these articles… and the sidebar makes it clear this is a community for all sorts of satire sites. But I think it would’ve been better named “satire” rather than “the onion”
Every time I post something here there’s someone in the comments that’s confused about the fact that this sub welcomes content from multiple satire sites and not just The Onion.
The Onion is to satire sites what Nintendo was to consoles for parents and grandparents of the 80s/90s.
Stupid Old Ass Boomers Don’t Know Shit Fam —The Onion
I totally understand the reason why there is confusion, and almost didn’t reply because it felt nitpicky. Completely fair.
I feel like we both mentioned facts there - hopefully we added something to the conversation, that there’s some nuance wherein it both is but also is not The Onion, depending on which “it” we’re talking about:-).
This feels like a statement that’s definitely true and only counts as satire because nobody has tested it yet
“Man, she keeps smiling at me. I think she digs me.”
“She just wants your tip”
“That’s OK. I don’t need to go full penetration”
🙄
Anything to keep the hope alive. I know that sentiment well enough.
J.D. Vance is a festering tumor in a suit. But I really do think Nia was hitting on me the other night.
No bits on tips
Hey man, I’ve gotten with some bartenders. That doesn’t make me a dirty Vance fan. For shame!
Nah— no service worker would ever think that JD Vance is interested in them, or anything other than himself
Wooosh
You must have misread.
