I once experienced an episode of sleep paralysis with auditory hallucinations. I heard a deep masculine voice speaking in a guttural language that seemed just on the edge of being comprehensible to me. As if it were the primeval language from which all others sprang. The feel of the language in my ear was as familiar as my native tongue. I recognized the cadence, I could discern where one word ended and the next began, whether a sentence was a question, and so forth. But the words themselves were somehow alien.

I strained my senses trying to hear the voice more clearly. What horrible prophesy was I being given? What dreadful task have I been appointed? Am I the keymaster? The antichrist? Am I dying? Oh shit, that’s it, isn’t it? I’m dying and going to hell. Fuckfuckfuck. Um. I accept Jesus as my savior? …Buddha? …Joe Pesci?

Then I snapped out of it and the voice turned out to be the muffled sound of my neighbor’s TV. Praise be to Joe Pesci!

Yeah, but what about all the episodes where they didn’t detect any danger? That’s like half of TOS. By TNG it’d be hubris if they still believed they could know for sure.

It makes so much more sense to send a shuttlecraft in the first place, in every case, even if the mothership isn’t going anywhere and transporters are fully operational.

Is there air? You don’t know. But you’re going to beam me down in nothing but my pajamas? Hell no. I’ll take a shuttle with its shields and weapons and life support systems.

Wouldn’t air travel account for more transcontinental passenger traffic than cars or trains?

The correct technical term is magic smoke.

I’d use 90% isopropyl alcohol solution. Dampen a clean cloth and wipe away the resin.

What kind of quest did it give you?

Not the wrong way either.

Contact sickbay if your hard light hologram lasts more than 4 hours.

For one, the shark is not at fault. The swimmer is. Which doesn’t really fit the overall message.

https://www.kingdomofloathing.com/

A free text-based RPG browser game with a unique sense of absurdist humor.

transcendent explorations of love

The one thing that bothers me about the metric system is how much of it is never actually used. No one says “1 megameter”, for example. They say “1,000 kilometers”. When you think about it, most metric prefixes are never used with most metric units.

Fair game.

Yuh

Goron eyes

I know what you meant, but I choose to ignore that:

“Old money” vs. “New money” is a particularly American concept, though.

Uh huh. So we’re in agreement. She won’t be allowed near the phone again.