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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: August 7th, 2023

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  • He’s not ready for whatever you have and a relationship is about how two people live their lives together and whatever that looks like for them.

    What it looks like for him - at least right now - is different to whatever situation has been happening.

    If it doesn’t change he will continue to be in this state, for at least a couple of years, if I know people.

    Now if it’s a change into something you’re immediately comfortable with - great - you guys want to change along the same lines into what suits you both better.

    But if it’s a change you don’t want to make - you’re both not in the same place.

    No one who doesn’t know you intimately can tell you if those are changes that will be good or bad, or worth sticking through - that’s up to you - but he has been really very clear about what he wants and needs here, and it’s up to you to decide if it’s worth it or not.

    There’s a world where you stick through it and it comes up roses, there’s a world where you find someone who is exactly in the right place for you and it works out better. the opposite of both worlds is also possible









  • My ex in the early 2000s was at the time a member of an Eurasian alliance to campaign for proper representation of Asian people in the entertainment industry as there was a habit of casting white or racially ambiguous but not Asian persons in roles that were specifically written as Asian characters, and if their particular ethnicity (e.g. Malaysian) was specified, to cast someone of that ethnicity and not just generic Asian (e.g. Chinese).

    So maybe not everyone - but from personal experience, it was very much a concern to many people before that time, yes.