Lmao same 🥲

I literally had it in my shopping cart ready to buy when I discovered they removed the headphone jack.

I went with Motorola instead

If the volume is high enough there won’t be a dry butt in the house

💚💚💚

Turns out it doesn’t prevent pregnancy, it just changes the color of the baby

I figured they tried to clean up the shampoo spill with a wet rag

Thanks to the heatwaves, cats are also room temperature

People say “carpets are great, you just need to have them professionally cleaned every couple of years” and I imagine only mopping my floors once every couple of years and throw up in my mouth a little

I imagine a lot of Americans

Definitely

also Western Europeans

Certainly not

I feel like I see them in Chinese and Japanese grocery stores regularly

Ironically almond milk was invented because God said people couldn’t have animal milk during lent so they improvised.

I’d like to hear his rebuttal before jumping on the hate wagon

Equally fitting if the word of the year is “Clauding™: to leverage Anthropic™ intelligence tooling to simplify your life and maximize you potential. Brought to you by Anthropic™! Get your free trial today!”

Critics Call It ‘Ethical Gooning’

Just like proponents do?

Two birds, one stone

“So, two pedophiles walk into a bar…”

- Jimmy Carr

Gasoline cars need to accept grass if they are ever to be a viable replacement for a horse. Like, what if you’re far from a gas station but there’s a meadow right there?

Only fringe enthusiasts can own a gasoline car that doesn’t have a biofuel fermenter attached.

She won’t let me hold hers

Here’s a reminder of the last things you did and where you need to go next.

“Your current objective is trying not to cum while playing this game. The last thing you did was cum while playing this game.”