I’m an ex incel myself, but I’ve been seeing a few users here exhibiting the tell tale signs. “I’m not attractive enough”, “I don’t socialize correctly”, “I’ll never find a woman” - all extremely unhealthy attitudes.

Personally I burned through many friendships and ruined a lot of chances with women because I was in the incel community. The community warped my view of women so much that I made it even harder to meet women, I became my own worst enemy. I lost friends because all I could think of was how horrible it was that they had girlfriends.

I have a friend who helped me out of it. She was the one who started calling out my bad behavior for what it was, and I started on the long uphill path out of it. I’m now married and stable for well over a decade, but I still think back to those days, and it depresses me seeing other people causing this themselves and not being aware of it.

So, Lemmy, for those who have clawed out of it, what’s your story?

  • GBU_28@lemm.ee
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    3 months ago

    You do not need to pre train to join a martial arts gym as a rookie/white belt

      • SlippiHUD@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        Your muscles can get hurt working out too, you just gotta learn to preform in your own capabilities, or you were hurt by an asshole.

      • workerONE@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        Probably went too hard too soon, and you didn’t have time to get used to the activity- it takes months for your body to get significantly stronger. I tore my bicep tendon, I believe I just wasn’t ready for the level of exertion. Similarly I would recommend warming up each session and starting with low effort / low exertion movements.

      • GBU_28@lemm.ee
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        3 months ago

        What’s wrong with your muscles hurting?

        Or do you.mean an actual injury…

        When I trained TKD I would still get DOMS from intense training, even as a black belt. Obviously faster recovery than when I was a rookie, but muscles “hurting” is ok