Ladies and gentlemen,

Hobos and tramps,

Crosseyed mosquitoes

And bowlegged ants:

I come before you to stand behind you

To tell you something I know nothing about.

The price is free, so pay at the door.

There are plenty of seats, so sit on the floor.

One bright morning in the middle of the night

Two dead boys got into a fight.

Back to back they faced each other,

Took out their swords and shot one another.

A deaf policeman heard the noise

And came and killed the two dead boys.

If you don’t believe me, ask the blind man;

He saw everything.

Memorized while bored in elementary school