• Todd Bonzalez@lemm.ee
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    2 months ago

    The problem here is that the systems you have to monitor usage aren’t great, and kids are known for lying or omitting details to their parents.

    Giving kids open-ended access to technology doesn’t have to involve giving them access to the Internet without constant guidance. I would rather my kid have less digital access than their peers, than get sexually exploited because they were a child publicly online.

    More and more I am seeing that the places kids go online are places I don’t fully understand, but a cursory review reveals is also a hotspot for sexual predators. This seems like the perfect place for a predator to stalk my child. I don’t know enough to stop them, and my kid doesn’t know enough not to get exploited. By the time I find out about it, it’ll probably be too late.

    Giving a child an internet-connected camera and screen can become such a horrific nightmare, I think that good parenting actually has to involve being realistic and telling your kids “just because your friends have TikTok and Instagram doesn’t mean you won’t get grounded for it in this house”, and letting kids use technology when I am in the room with them. I have seen what kids are posting online, and it’s easy to assume that their parents don’t care, but it’s a lot more realistic to accept that kids are good at keeping secrets, and their parents don’t know what they’re up to.

    If they want to learn about computers on their own, I’ll buy them what they need to learn about all sorts of stuff that doesn’t expose them directly to capitalist or sexual exploitation online. When they are old enough to defend themselves, then they can be given the trust in accessing the Internet on their own, but until then they need to explore under my watchful eye.

    Giving a smartphone to a <10 year old child, and trusting that the limited monitoring tools available, and your child’s honesty is enough to keep them safe from vicious exploitation is delusional and irresponsible.

    • whoisearth@lemmy.ca
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      2 months ago

      This is an extremely reactionary take. I hear what you are saying but I draw the line as delusional and irresponsible unless you apply that to pretty much all parents that don’t completely smother their children.

      We make mistakes as we grow. We lie. We get hurt. Technology is always Pandora’s box. I’d argue we have better knowledge of our kids now than we ever used to and stats show the world is safer now than it has ever been.

      If you live in fear you will form your decisions from a place of fear.

      • Todd Bonzalez@lemm.ee
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        2 months ago

        This is an extremely reactionary take.

        How the fuck is this Reactionary?

        I recognize a threat and I want to avoid my child being exploited.

        At one point in history, the car was a new form of technology growing in popularity, and we eventually agreed that kids shouldn’t drive.

        • whoisearth@lemmy.ca
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          2 months ago

          Ah yes. A phone is a car. Got it.

          Also, who tf is exploiting kids because they have a phone? Do you also remove all TVs from your house? What about the radio? Can’t have Lady Gaga singing about “poke her face” to my kids! Lol

    • deathbird@mander.xyz
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      2 months ago

      This is actually a good take. Kids aren’t miniature adults, they’re kids. They’re not helpless or useless, but neither are they fully morally and emotionally developed. They need guidance. Plenty of adults can’t responsibly handle internet access. I survived early onilne porn and gore and social media, but it’s not like any of it benefited me in a meaningful way.

      Some folks have an attitude that’s like “I touched hot stoves and I learned better”, but that’s far from ideal.