1.Israel stupidly keeps attacking everyone and US weapons supply runs dry. They get destroyed by their victims retaliation.

2.China actually decides to do something.

3.Russia does that Simpsons bit where robot Lenin breaks out of his grave. But says “Haha joke!” And continues being shitty and capitalist.

4.Ukraine does something stupid and Nazi-coded to get attention from US senpai.

5.The US accidentally nukes itself.