My life is almost a total failure. I am in my 20s, totally broke, living with my parents, no job, no career, no future, living in cambodia with no opportunities and no way to claw my way out. I’ve looked on Indeed, there’s nothing. Zero. Zilch. My college degree(computer engineering) got me nowhere. Besides that, my country is a toilet now and rapidly becoming worse with an insane cost of living. Everything is going down the tubes and I am powerless to even cushion myself against the imminent impact. I think if nothing else I just want to kms .
I don’t think I’ve ever felt this awful in my life. Thanks. Sorry for this mess and I know I’ll invite a lot of ridicule. I’m sitting in the dark doing nothing right now.
Do you spend a lot of time in the dark? How much natural sunlight do you get?
I ask because I have felt like what you describe. Vitamin D deficiency might be a contributing factor. Supplements might help but the best thing is to spend time outside for 3 hours per week minimum, preferably in a natural setting away from gas powered vehicles.
Start doing something. Anything. Move your body. It can be as simple as walking for 30 minutes a day. You can get your sunlight while you do it. It’s fine if it is cloudy, it is not as good if you are indoors, even if there are windows. Exercise will get your blood moving. The hormones which regulate your mood might be malfunction or waste could be getting built up in your brain and causing depression. Get your heartrate up, let the blood carry waste out.
Does your degree have legs? Is it supposed to carry you around? No, of course not. I think. I don’t actually have a degree. If I had one, I would be taking it to places. Especially places that have a use for it. Are there no jobs where a computer engineering degree is needed near you? These days even small businesses need an IT person. If there are none, start your own. I do not know what starting a business entails in Cambodia but it may be simpler than you realize. Start a computer repair shop. Offer to recover data for regular people, like photos from old hard drives and flash drives or sd cards with testdisk. Do it cheap, give discounts and start with a warning that you might not be able to recover anything or fix their computer and that you are a last resort, when no where else can help or they can’t afford a professional place, so you don’t have to worry about failing. Make a name for yourself.
It’s not too late for a career change. If your country is in the toilet, become a plumber. If it is rapidly becoming worse, find a way to slow it down, work to turn it around in any way you can think of. Become a politician and overthrow the goverment or die trying. At least you might die a hero instead of ending it yourself and being quickly forgotten.
Indeed is trash. Find anything else. Even Fiverr.com or Legiit.com are probably better.
Last advice: Pick a goal. Even something stupid. Work towards it. Do not expect to acheive the goal. It is only the carrot on a stick to lure you to anywhere that is not the place you are now. You might be led to where you are supposed to be along the way.