Here’s a low stakes question to start the community.
My father adopted me when he married my mother forty years ago. Unfortunately, she died only seven years later. Together they had two of their own. He’s not an overly affectionate person, but in my adulthood he’s been incredibly supportive.
Recently, he took a week off of work (a BFD for him) and flew halfway across the US to take care of me and my animals after a serious surgery. I’m trying to write a thank you note, but everything I write seems clinical or soppy. I’ve even tried chat GPT, but they’re as awful and stilted as I am.
So here’s the thing I want advice on… How do I thank him for continously choosing to be my dad for the last ~40 years?
I would recommend just saying that you appreciate him and giving him a big hug. Men usually have a stigma about being affectionate but believe me there’s nothing more happier than someone saying that they appreciate you outright.
I’d also add to tell him what it meant to you that he’s been so supportive.
This is a tough one and my brain doesn’t want to work right now, but I read your post and wanted to pop in to show my support. Also your dad is awesome for consistently choosing to be your dad every day. 💗
If it was me, I’d probably pair it with a nice gift.
Maybe a pair of concert tickets to a band he really loves, or sports or something. Maybe a bottle of fancy scotch or wine. And write a short note, “a small token - I appreciate you, I love you, and I still can’t believe I’m so lucky as to have a great dad like you. Thank you for always being here”.
It’s not a eulogy, you don’t have to overthink it.
Consider this: Most guys will live off of an impromptu compliment for a nice shirt they’re wearing…for years!
So drop what you’re doing and text him to call you when he has a few minutes, reassuring him that everything is okay, you just wanna chat…
THEN TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL!!!
Just be yourself and speak from the heart. You will make his day/week/month/year.
I appreciate your sentiments but whenever I move off from how my car operates or the weather, he does the equivalent of the Midwest lap slap ope. My only chance to get something heartfelt across is via a written note. I’m looking for help on writing that.
Ah, okay then.
My advice is still the same: write from the heart and be yourself. But do it in three lines:
- What he made Dad mean to you.
- Why he’s the best at being Dad.
- How you feel being his daughter.
The write them in a nice card and send it.
Make him a simple painting. No words can express the feelings you two have for each other, even if they were to be few. Creating has a ton of meaning, especially if it’s an inside joke. Thanks for posting!
Just write it from the heart, tell him what you’re feeling and know that a man that flew halfway across the US to support you will be bowled over by the gesture. There’s literally nothing you can say in your message to him that will be wrong if it comes from your heart.
I find poems are nice, but I appreciate it isn’t for everyone, but just start with a few lines, 6-8 words in each that describe the picture in your head of how you feel about your dad. Don’t worry about rhyming, and punctuate as you’d speak it.
Why don’t you send him a thank you greeting card with all of the things that you said here and all of the things that you do want to say to him. This way, you don’t have to be in front of his face, and he can read the card in private and then keep it forever because it will be his favorite thing
That’s what I’m asking for help with. How can I word the message that threads the needle between clinical and sappy?
Who cares if you’re being sappy or not. It’s not like you guys are going to be face to face when he’s reading it so he can go hide on the porch away from everybody else and cry a little bit and nobody can say anything
Because if it’s sappy he’ll disregard it. I appreciate how much you’ve put into answering.
My dad sounds a lot like your dad, but I guarantee you that he will secretly save it and cherish it. When I was helping him clean the other day I found something I made for him back when I was in preschool
