• impiri@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Actually, “kiddo,” I am not “f***ing dead” as evidenced by my normally functioning respiratory and circulatory systems

  • MorelaakIsBack [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    ok ok NDGT Navy Seals Edit, since nobody asked:

    What the fuck did you just say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at Harvard, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret essays on Astronomy, and i have over 300 confirmed citations. I am trained in stellar evolution and i am the top star identifier in the entire US Scientific Community. You are nothing to me but just another dwarf star. I will catalogue you the fuck up with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with coronal mass ejecting that shit at me over the internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak i am contacting my secret network of space telescopes across the USA and your spectroscopic fingerprint is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your luminosity. You’re fucking red, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and i can summarize you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my brain hands. Not only am i extensively trained in spectral analysis, but i have access to the entire capacity of the United States Very Large Array and I will use it to its full extent to catalogue your miserable ass on the face of the galaxy, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “bright” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have stayed in your fucking sunspot. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will stellar forensics all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking red, kiddo.

    • GarbageShoot [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      i can summarize you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my brain hands.

      I would have gone for “and that’s just with pen and paper”, but yours is probably funnier

  • macabrett@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    Look I’m not here to defend Niel, because I mean just listen to him for 5 seconds you’ll get why he doesn’t deserve defending, but he’s currently being attacked by one of the few groups capable of being more annoying than him: redditors. Specifically, UFO redditors. They’re mad at him because he said something like “debate is not a way to objective truth, data is” or something in regards to all this dumb UFO bullshit that’s been going around.

    So I guess in the end, I’m not defending Neil at all, I’m mostly just saying all of this is very funny.

  • Freeanotherday [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo

    • betelgeuse [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      This man, the one hunting me, has 300 confirmed kills. He is trained in gorilla warfare and a top sniper. He looks at me like nothing but a target. I have it on good authority that he has a network of spies across the US. He’s been monitoring my web traffic.

  • Awoo [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    Oh fuck off Neal, you’re literally reddit in the flesh, you’re more online than the average redditor, you know what the fucking navy seal copypasta is you fucking liar.

  • GarbageShoot [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    “Also, I’ve been trying to contact the FBI about the abuse of some marine animal called ‘Vaporeon,’ but have received no confirmation of my messages being received”

  • rubpoll [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    NDT has some sexual harassment allegations in his closet, which means it’s only a matter of time before he’s blaming this UFO hysteria on trans people.