• ivanafterall@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      It was a long, gradual process, but psilocybin was what made it all click, seemingly all at once, a few years back during a trip to Amsterdam. Cliche, I know.

      • LemmyLefty@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        In that it made you feel differently and made you recognize that you care about people differently, or in that it made you face all of the cognitive dissonance that came from your previous views?

        • ivanafterall@kbin.social
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          1 year ago

          I was raised extremely religious (considered becoming a pastor like many other family members), but also loved science, reading, learning. So I had a ton of doubts, but “deconstruction” is extremely difficult and involves losing…well…everything in a sense. Family, friends, your understanding of the world, much of your internal monologue, even my career in this particular instance. I probably would’ve gotten there in a few years without psilocybin. But after taking mushrooms, I realized all my doubts were correct. It all just clicked. All the years of loose threads tied together in an, “Oh, SHIT.” moment.

            • ivanafterall@kbin.social
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              1 year ago

              Thank you, it’s kind. Absolutely. I feel fully myself now the past five years or so. Lost 85 pounds, found better partners, changed my career path, etc. It sucks that my family is still in it, but they’re trying, at least, which isn’t nothing.

          • confluence@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Fellow “deconstructed” here. Everything you described in terms of losing everything matches what happened to me. I’m a Bible scholar, to boot 😅 Now working on a data science education, while working as a full stack developer.

            Atheopaganism really helped me rebuild my “spirituality” (generally defined as the self-work of inner experience, a form of positive mental health) along naturalistic lines, without needing to appeal to supernature or lose any impulse for scientific exploration (quite the opposite).