My 14-year-old sister Lena has made a friend who is constantly picking on Lena for the slightest things, calling her weird, screaming at her in social situations and in athletics, saying she is useless, etc. [my sister has mobility issues and asthma as well]
Fortunately, Lena told me that she and another friend of hers stopped hanging out with the friend but the teachers still want her paired up with this girl? (No one else will hang out with Lena’s friend because her friend group is preppy and very cliquey)
The friend is also doing the classic “You can’t be friends with those girls and leave me, they don’t like you/understand you like I do. I’m the only one who will accept you.”
Yeah, I don’t really know how to help as I don’t go to her school and I’m obviously several years older than her
I hate to say it, but the only solution to bullying (and it’s not much of a solution) is to escalate the issue to administrators and parents. Over and over and over again, until the administration realizes that allowing these kids to be near each other is exposing the school to risk.
Sounds like the friend is absolutely “negging” your sister, trying to convince her that she’s defective and can’t expect better treatment.
Of course, you can explain this dynamic to your sister – that her friend is trying to build herself up by convincing your sister that she’s terrible. But sadly many people subjected to such behavior internalize it and are unable to fight it.
Isn’t this common with things like abusive relationships too? To trick the S/O into staying because they’re the only one who “understands”/“loves” them?
Absolutely.