Lens manufacturers say that anything other than a microfiber cloth will damage the coatings on a lens. But microfiber cloths eventually pick up crap and they look like they're a pain to wash.
How do you keep your lenses clean? Are you using cloth/kleenex or microfiber cloths? If you use microfiber cloths, how do you clean those?
Water and hand soap, unless they really need to be cleaned right now. I used to use a microfiber cloth, but I ran into the same problems as you. Soap and water will allow you to get oil from your hands and face off, as well as water spots and whatever else might be on there, and it's gentle enough that it doesn't hurt or scratch the lenses. When I put my glasses back on after cleaning them like this, It's a Whole New World starts playing in my head.
Do you just wipe with your fingers? And how do you dry them
https://www.visionexpress.com/eye-health/how-to-clean-your-glasses seems to point to fingers, dry with a lint free cloth?
Daily wash with water and foaming hand soap. Foaming soap on lenses, rub with fingers, rinse. Dry with cotton hankerchief. I usually keep my glasses 2 years before replacing and haven't had any issues with the anti-reflective coating washing this way.