That really helps! I have less experience with cannabis, but the times I used it, I felt so much better for like a week. And then it was like a switch got turned on again and it was like before.

I know that there is an addiction risk for tramadol. However, I have been using it for months once every two weeks and never more often than that. Also, I need to be in a somewhat calm state before I use it to make sure that I do not use it to manage overwhelming feelings and teach myself I cannot do it myself. I hope this helps to reduce my chances of getting addicted to it.

What you are saying makes a lot of sense. It makes me feel safe, which is almost impossible for me. I was hoping that this gives my brain the opportunity to get used to that feeling and create it itself. I was traumatised at a very early age, so I think that feeling safe is something my brain still needs to learn. I think this is almost exactly what you are describing what happens from a chemical point of view. That really helps me! I hope it helps me to explain it to the physician as well.

The physician tries to subscribe me benzodiazepines (which are also addictive). But they make me feel like I am in a chemical straight jacket and afterwards I feel even more hyperalert and irritated. I have tried venlafaxine, citalopram and mirtazapine and I seem to be immune or something. Just nothing happens even after taking it for a longer time or in higher doses. I do not know why.

In any case, this really helps me! Even if the physician does not listen, it helps me to understand better. Thank you so much!