I’m intersex. Non standard genitals. Times and times again I’m being made to choose to be a man or a woman. My pleas to get minimal hormones just to be healthy are ignored. I’m in medical debt due to dealing with debilitating complications from doctors forcing my body to be either female or male. Letting my body be it’s normal self minus what was causing actual issues was never an option. I’m deeply convinced if nonbinary people were acknowledged this wouldn’t be the case. I’m given zero control. Asking to be put on low dose is ignored. My only option is refusing all hormones and hoping my body will manage. I don’t have natural dysphoria, I get dysphoria from the surgical and hormonal changes forced upon me. I’m tired. Fuck nbphobia.
Except they didn’t get angry, you just don’t like having boundaries set for you by those you see as educational tools there to serve you, not human beings with valid wants and needs.
It’s quite a large leap to assume how people view others as just educational tools, when they’re trying to engage in discussion on a online discussion board. It’s inherently implied that as a poster, unless otherwise stated in the OP, you are posting to engage in discussion and potentially have questions asked of you. It just comes with the territory of online discussion boards. If you don’t want to discuss or answer questions, just simply don’t post if you’re going to get angry with people engaging with you.
While having a need to share (it can bring some peace), one can also ignore any inquiries one may receive in a thread.
Writing just to themselves can also help though.
In another point of view - it can be difficult to choose a reasonable reaction when overwhelmed with feelings though, I give them that.
So then don’t reply or engage after making your post instead of getting mad at people for attempting to be kind and understanding and wanting to learn more about the topic to be supportive. If you want to post to vent feeling and emotions, post and leave it, don’t attack people for seemingly doing what’s being asked of people in the OP
Hey, I have a question. We’re not supposed to ask if we don’t know and someone brings it up, we’re meant to Google and read, right? So here’s my question, in two parts: does everyone writing about these issues online speak for the entire rest of the community? If not, how exactly are we supposed to know what’s relevant to the experience of the specific person we’re talking to?
See, me, I have a diagnosed disability. It has a couple of different ways of presenting, depending on the sufferer. I have gathered links to academic papers and articles, blog posts, collected memes, etc. that explain aspects of my experience for when people are curious. It’s very useful when people want to know more.
Some folks just rather want to learn stuff in the form of discussion, through someone’s experience. (that you cannot find in articles)
While others rather read articles about it. (there you can find science more likely)
Neither option is wrong.
I always rather discuss than delve in articles myself 🙂
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I see anger. It reads as angry and entitled.
You would be angry too if people constantly interrogated you about something that affects you minute to minute.
Maybe it’s just a hard concept to grasp if you haven’t experienced it but having to be the person to inform everyone whenever a topic comes up is insanely tiring.
I’d like to point out that she is the one who brought it up.
A shit attitude is a shit attitude, you can forgive it if you like, but it doesn’t change how she is projecting herself.
Even if they brought it up you don’t have to interrogate them.
Whoose eh.
What comes to my inquiry comment earlier - I asked one question, and I wasn’t aggressive.
I feel that you are overreacting.
People don’t owe you civility. Especially not marginalized peoples who are clearly sick of exactly this kind of attitude.
True.
But you can also let the folks know about it in a polite way.
“Oh! Thanks for the inquiry! It’s cool that you are interested in this topic! However, in my current mental state and the resources I have I won’t be able to satisfy your need for knowledge. Here’s a link/read/etc to further direct you to study this phenomenon! Also feel free to ask others here who may have same experiences if you like!”
.
I see no reason to act harsh.
While people do have different reasons why they want to have a discussion or ask a question, I would suggest against making automatic assumptions about people who you do not know and their motives, and pointing them out as facts.
Being pessimistic or negative is one thing. Spreading it among people is another.
Also having negative experiences is not a valid reason to lash out at people. Find a constructive catalyst to let the bad feels out instead 🙂