That’s the thing about life that breaks me periodically.
I’ve lived through great times, and suddenly I look around and it hits me. I won’t have this forever, and who knows where I’ll be some day. Maybe Jon will die and I’ll miss his stupid doom and gloom guitar playing while I’m trying to have a pleasant mushroom trip. Maybe Jeremy will marry one of these crazy women he’s running around with and I’ll never see him again.
Then I wake up one day and realize, holy shit. I miss Jon’s terrible taste in music. He isn’t dead but he’s haven’t seen him in over a decade. Jeremy married that girl and she abandoned him with their son to raise alone. His son is my daughter’s best friend and he’s here all the time but I never see his dad. One of my best friends that everyone said I’d end up married to ended up leaving me 15 years down the road and died soon after from cancer.
I knew it was all coming. I didn’t know what form it would take, but it all had to happen eventually.
I’m sitting her with my baby who is sick with Covid right now and cuddled to me as hard as she can be, who won’t go to sleep unless I sing her favorite Beatles song and drum on her back. I love every little thing about my life right now and I just know that this peace and happiness that I feel is one bad storm away from falling apart.
Looking at my dog, my protector, my friend, and thinking about your loss and the loss of the commenter above you put me back in that line of thinking. My dog is old and I’ve spent time worrying about her recently.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about doom and gloom. I’m just saying that we should work very hard to hold these moments in our hearts as tightly as possible and cry because we miss them when they’re gone, because they were great. I’ve called my old dog over to sit at my feet. I know I won’t have her that much longer. I know that she’ll probably be the first great loss my youngest children experience.
After typing this out it feels like a stupid place to put it, but my heart is all in and I’m gonna post it any way.
That’s the thing about life that breaks me periodically.
I’ve lived through great times, and suddenly I look around and it hits me. I won’t have this forever, and who knows where I’ll be some day. Maybe Jon will die and I’ll miss his stupid doom and gloom guitar playing while I’m trying to have a pleasant mushroom trip. Maybe Jeremy will marry one of these crazy women he’s running around with and I’ll never see him again.
Then I wake up one day and realize, holy shit. I miss Jon’s terrible taste in music. He isn’t dead but he’s haven’t seen him in over a decade. Jeremy married that girl and she abandoned him with their son to raise alone. His son is my daughter’s best friend and he’s here all the time but I never see his dad. One of my best friends that everyone said I’d end up married to ended up leaving me 15 years down the road and died soon after from cancer.
I knew it was all coming. I didn’t know what form it would take, but it all had to happen eventually.
I’m sitting her with my baby who is sick with Covid right now and cuddled to me as hard as she can be, who won’t go to sleep unless I sing her favorite Beatles song and drum on her back. I love every little thing about my life right now and I just know that this peace and happiness that I feel is one bad storm away from falling apart.
Looking at my dog, my protector, my friend, and thinking about your loss and the loss of the commenter above you put me back in that line of thinking. My dog is old and I’ve spent time worrying about her recently.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about doom and gloom. I’m just saying that we should work very hard to hold these moments in our hearts as tightly as possible and cry because we miss them when they’re gone, because they were great. I’ve called my old dog over to sit at my feet. I know I won’t have her that much longer. I know that she’ll probably be the first great loss my youngest children experience.
After typing this out it feels like a stupid place to put it, but my heart is all in and I’m gonna post it any way.
I hope you’re doing well and loving life.