So for those of you unaware, last night someone claiming to be a long-time poster confessed to being in a sexual + romantic relationship with what turned out to be a minor 15 years his junior. (Here is the post for additional context.) Several people - myself included - failed to immediately condemn the relationship and in fact sympathized with OP and put blame on the kid for lying to and manipulating OP (who claimed to be unaware of the kid’s actual age until the cops told him), completely ignoring the fact that a 15-year-old cannot consent to such a relationship. Even if he jumps through a bunch of hoops to illegally get into a kink space and fabricates an of-majority-age persona in order to get with a much older man. In my own case, I believe that my own perception of the situation - not helped by OP’s way of telling the story - was warped such that the sexual side of the relationship was sidelined in favor of the more emotional side, as well as having an incorrect perception of consent as it pertains to teenagers going in. Either way, I admit that my gut reaction was wrong both legally and probably morally, and that I clearly have much to learn about consent and sexual laws and norms (from harassment to rape.)

My recommendation to the mod team would be to permaban all people whose first reaction was to side with OP (yes, including me), and have a stern discussion with the site about the gravity and absoluteness of consent, especially with respect to children and teenagers (to cover the rest of your asses.) Advice on further steps to be taken would also be appreciated.

Shout-out to u/BeamBrain for shaming me and setting me straight. I hope the few others who sided with OP have also come to realize the error of their ways.

  • aaro [they/them, she/her]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    I appreciate your proactive action here but I deeply strongly advocate against anyone turning themselves in over this - one, because if we don’t want fed eyes on hexbear, we should really avoid someone going to the alphabet boys and saying “hey I did a sex crime on this communist message board”, and two, because no commenter committed a sex crime. It’s not a sex crime to write words of support to someone in crisis for mahing a shitty non-malicious choice that they regret deeply enough to attempt suicide over. Might be illustrative of a need to self crit, but definitely not any form of crime.

    And besides, we’re about rehabilitative justice here. If we genuinely believe that, we know that the rehabilitation we can do ourselves with a struggle session about it is more than the rehabilitation that will be given by anyone turning themselves over to the feds over what amounts to far less than what the average NSFW artist probably has public on twitter