So for those of you unaware, last night someone claiming to be a long-time poster confessed to being in a sexual + romantic relationship with what turned out to be a minor 15 years his junior. (Here is the post for additional context.) Several people - myself included - failed to immediately condemn the relationship and in fact sympathized with OP and put blame on the kid for lying to and manipulating OP (who claimed to be unaware of the kid’s actual age until the cops told him), completely ignoring the fact that a 15-year-old cannot consent to such a relationship. Even if he jumps through a bunch of hoops to illegally get into a kink space and fabricates an of-majority-age persona in order to get with a much older man. In my own case, I believe that my own perception of the situation - not helped by OP’s way of telling the story - was warped such that the sexual side of the relationship was sidelined in favor of the more emotional side, as well as having an incorrect perception of consent as it pertains to teenagers going in. Either way, I admit that my gut reaction was wrong both legally and probably morally, and that I clearly have much to learn about consent and sexual laws and norms (from harassment to rape.)

My recommendation to the mod team would be to permaban all people whose first reaction was to side with OP (yes, including me), and have a stern discussion with the site about the gravity and absoluteness of consent, especially with respect to children and teenagers (to cover the rest of your asses.) Advice on further steps to be taken would also be appreciated.

Shout-out to u/BeamBrain for shaming me and setting me straight. I hope the few others who sided with OP have also come to realize the error of their ways.

  • hexbear_partisan [comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    44·
    11 months ago

    I know that this is very serious, but in the interest of brevity (since you all know what I mean) this situation is an opportunity to appreciate the :volcel-police: culture on the site.

    I’m incredibly thankful that this isn’t something that transpired between two people on this site, cause it could easily happen in a lot of online spaces and really fuck shit up. II think it’s a bit harder of an environment here for that sort of thing to pop up, and I think we should keep it that way.

    It’s also worth reflecting upon in offline interactions. Let’s do good things for people in our community and not get distracted by all kinds of “fucking” drama. Easy for me to say, but sure, I have my own issues that hold me back (we can get into drug and alcohol use etc… as well). Just saying the post has me reflecting and writing some neo-Maoist comradely wisdom into my “Little Red Book 2nd Edition”. Maybe it’s trash anyway.