So for those of you unaware, last night someone claiming to be a long-time poster confessed to being in a sexual + romantic relationship with what turned out to be a minor 15 years his junior. (Here is the post for additional context.) Several people - myself included - failed to immediately condemn the relationship and in fact sympathized with OP and put blame on the kid for lying to and manipulating OP (who claimed to be unaware of the kid’s actual age until the cops told him), completely ignoring the fact that a 15-year-old cannot consent to such a relationship. Even if he jumps through a bunch of hoops to illegally get into a kink space and fabricates an of-majority-age persona in order to get with a much older man. In my own case, I believe that my own perception of the situation - not helped by OP’s way of telling the story - was warped such that the sexual side of the relationship was sidelined in favor of the more emotional side, as well as having an incorrect perception of consent as it pertains to teenagers going in. Either way, I admit that my gut reaction was wrong both legally and probably morally, and that I clearly have much to learn about consent and sexual laws and norms (from harassment to rape.)
My recommendation to the mod team would be to permaban all people whose first reaction was to side with OP (yes, including me), and have a stern discussion with the site about the gravity and absoluteness of consent, especially with respect to children and teenagers (to cover the rest of your asses.) Advice on further steps to be taken would also be appreciated.
Shout-out to u/BeamBrain for shaming me and setting me straight. I hope the few others who sided with OP have also come to realize the error of their ways.
I would like to add a personal anecdote to this. I was at a house party and this beautiful girl started getting real comfortable with me. Like when I was rolling a spliff she was basically sitting shoulder to shoulder almost leaning on me and being pretty flirtatious, but I could tell she was probably at least 10 years younger than me, and while flattered I didn’t reciprocate in anyway I was just chatting with the DJ about communist shit.
Anyway the next day I learned that this girl was fuckin 17. And no I had no way of knowing that specifically at the time, the vibe check was immediately failed. I cannot fathom any instance in which I “accidentally” hook up with a fucking teenager.
Yes the situation as they described sounds very fucked but honestly none of that matters. They should have known or at the very least been suspicious enough to enquire further.
Hell I even have had similar things happen with girls in their early twenties. If you’re 15 years younger than me, I’m gonna fuckin know.