So for those of you unaware, last night someone claiming to be a long-time poster confessed to being in a sexual + romantic relationship with what turned out to be a minor 15 years his junior. (Here is the post for additional context.) Several people - myself included - failed to immediately condemn the relationship and in fact sympathized with OP and put blame on the kid for lying to and manipulating OP (who claimed to be unaware of the kid’s actual age until the cops told him), completely ignoring the fact that a 15-year-old cannot consent to such a relationship. Even if he jumps through a bunch of hoops to illegally get into a kink space and fabricates an of-majority-age persona in order to get with a much older man. In my own case, I believe that my own perception of the situation - not helped by OP’s way of telling the story - was warped such that the sexual side of the relationship was sidelined in favor of the more emotional side, as well as having an incorrect perception of consent as it pertains to teenagers going in. Either way, I admit that my gut reaction was wrong both legally and probably morally, and that I clearly have much to learn about consent and sexual laws and norms (from harassment to rape.)
My recommendation to the mod team would be to permaban all people whose first reaction was to side with OP (yes, including me), and have a stern discussion with the site about the gravity and absoluteness of consent, especially with respect to children and teenagers (to cover the rest of your asses.) Advice on further steps to be taken would also be appreciated.
Shout-out to u/BeamBrain for shaming me and setting me straight. I hope the few others who sided with OP have also come to realize the error of their ways.
Let it be known that although I was among the people who initially showed sympathy for the offender, I am rather disappointed in Carcosa’s half-measure of just banning u/GorbinOutOverHere and “keeping an eye on” the rest. Especially in a case like this where 1) the action was morally and legally an absolute atrocity and 2) the site’s reputation as a whole could be ruined by one post about this elsewhere on Lemmy or Reddit, not to mention the potential for unwanted eyes from the feds. Given your status on the site, I would request that you lobby for fully upholding TC69 Thought.
while i do agree that a sterner response to the sympathizers in that thread would be ideal, my main concern here is that they felt inclined to sympathize in the first place, rather than how it looks to outsiders. i’m not going to name names or call anyone specifically out, but i seriously want those of you who chose to give a child rapist pats on the back to have a long, serious think about why you thought that was an acceptable response. then, fucking change.
I suppose the biggest question I have is how to square the circle of people who would never themselves knowingly violate a child (or anyone, really) but still not realize the gravity of a situation like this and side with a child rapist for even a second (such as myself, I’m sure there are others.) Would you - as a victim yourself - be inclined to have them preemptively put on a list just in case? And, considering that they’re not so far gone as to need “why pedophilia is bad 101” lessons, how exactly would you go about reforming them, or see them fucking change?
(This is intended as a good faith question, please don’t kill me)
Of course, I just felt it necessary to point out that this could make the entire site look bad (to pressure the mods into not implementing any more half measures.)