So for those of you unaware, last night someone claiming to be a long-time poster confessed to being in a sexual + romantic relationship with what turned out to be a minor 15 years his junior. (Here is the post for additional context.) Several people - myself included - failed to immediately condemn the relationship and in fact sympathized with OP and put blame on the kid for lying to and manipulating OP (who claimed to be unaware of the kid’s actual age until the cops told him), completely ignoring the fact that a 15-year-old cannot consent to such a relationship. Even if he jumps through a bunch of hoops to illegally get into a kink space and fabricates an of-majority-age persona in order to get with a much older man. In my own case, I believe that my own perception of the situation - not helped by OP’s way of telling the story - was warped such that the sexual side of the relationship was sidelined in favor of the more emotional side, as well as having an incorrect perception of consent as it pertains to teenagers going in. Either way, I admit that my gut reaction was wrong both legally and probably morally, and that I clearly have much to learn about consent and sexual laws and norms (from harassment to rape.)
My recommendation to the mod team would be to permaban all people whose first reaction was to side with OP (yes, including me), and have a stern discussion with the site about the gravity and absoluteness of consent, especially with respect to children and teenagers (to cover the rest of your asses.) Advice on further steps to be taken would also be appreciated.
Shout-out to u/BeamBrain for shaming me and setting me straight. I hope the few others who sided with OP have also come to realize the error of their ways.
I thought the OP of the original thread was full of shit and purposely omitting details that so obviously points to an underage person, but it was posted in /c/mentalhealth, so I didn’t know how to respond that isn’t just saying “OP, you’re full of shit lmao”
i’d bet my eyes on it. i’m still torn on whether or not OOP was sharing a real story or writing a fantasy with one hand down their pants or even just baiting the site with an incredibly volatile subject, but i am immensely disappointed in the responses in that thread. i understand the comm rules forbid calling bullshit. because of that i think the best response would have been none at all. no validation, no reassurances, no nothing. i don’t give a shit how suicidal some pedo may have been about their crimes, they should have been shunned at the minimum.
It sounds an awful lot like bait, especially the gender identity reveal at the end. But of course you can’t really call that out on the mental health comm.
Yeah that is why I was suspicious the whole thing may have been concocted (yes even their posts on their main account about the relationship). Feels like a really high effort attempt to bring heat on the site.
And as others have said I am deeply disappointed with the responses from some posters here.