So for those of you unaware, last night someone claiming to be a long-time poster confessed to being in a sexual + romantic relationship with what turned out to be a minor 15 years his junior. (Here is the post for additional context.) Several people - myself included - failed to immediately condemn the relationship and in fact sympathized with OP and put blame on the kid for lying to and manipulating OP (who claimed to be unaware of the kid’s actual age until the cops told him), completely ignoring the fact that a 15-year-old cannot consent to such a relationship. Even if he jumps through a bunch of hoops to illegally get into a kink space and fabricates an of-majority-age persona in order to get with a much older man. In my own case, I believe that my own perception of the situation - not helped by OP’s way of telling the story - was warped such that the sexual side of the relationship was sidelined in favor of the more emotional side, as well as having an incorrect perception of consent as it pertains to teenagers going in. Either way, I admit that my gut reaction was wrong both legally and probably morally, and that I clearly have much to learn about consent and sexual laws and norms (from harassment to rape.)
My recommendation to the mod team would be to permaban all people whose first reaction was to side with OP (yes, including me), and have a stern discussion with the site about the gravity and absoluteness of consent, especially with respect to children and teenagers (to cover the rest of your asses.) Advice on further steps to be taken would also be appreciated.
Shout-out to u/BeamBrain for shaming me and setting me straight. I hope the few others who sided with OP have also come to realize the error of their ways.
I can’t believe that needs to be said here.
, 1312, All Cats Are Beautiful FFS! Did you mess up like bad with giving shit advice and having disgusting opinions and so you need to do some serious fucking self crit right now? Yeah, probably, it sure looks like it. In fact you should get on that now, if it means hashing it out with trusted comrades, or doing deep, painful, quiet, but honest self reflection, or going to a trained therapist yeah, go do THAT.
But calling “the authorities”? “Turning yourself in?” For fucking what? Having a really bad take as your gut reaction to an emotionally complex and arguably manipulative post? No. No, calling the authorities would very clearly do nothing but pile on more shit decisions and faulty thinking to what you’ve already done, oh and maybe give you some sense of atonement or some shit? I don’t know, maybe not on that last one, since I don’t know what your motives are that deep down. But don’t fucking report yourself for having the wrong reaction to a post.