Hello, I am a young CF man of thirty years. I want to hear from my elders CFs. How they were living in their thirties.
Now in my sixties and still CF. In my thirties the only real down side was the loss (largely) of friends who had chosen to have children so could now no longer come out to play.
But life was good, on the whole.
And still is.
Did those friends become available again after their kids grew up? Or did you just have to find new friends?
Largely new friends. Interestingly those who had children later seemed to cope better with the balancing act between parenthood and socialising.
With spare money/disposable income. Want to go on holiday? we do. Want a lie in at the weekend? we can. Peace and quiet? lots. None of this possible with kids as they take over your whole life.
This is what I enjoy most about being CF, everything in life is much more flexible. Both my partner and myself are working shifts and our planning doesn’t depend on weekend and school holidays. Going out for a nice dinner on a Tuesday is much more enjoyable when the restaurants aren’t full. Also, traveling after the summer rush is what we prefer. Things are somewhat cheaper, popular areas are emptier, and the weather is cooler.
Currently in my mid 30s. Life is good. Spent the past year trying to turn over a new page in the book of life. Hoping to emigrate with my partner soon. I’ve already changed to a remote working job. I split my spare time between: running, photography, sailing, hiking, coding & gaming. Lots of this would be impossible or very difficult with children.
Almost 50, and things are still good.
Being CF had allowed me to make choices that would have otherwise been unavailable to me.
I change careers when I want, move where and when I want. I’m open to peruse, or end, relationships based only on my goals and needs.
As others have mentioned, dealing with friends when they have families can be an issue, but honestly, I haven’t had too much trouble. The one couple I’m close with that has kids still find time to do things, and I’m someone they call when they want a night away to do things.
Not once have I felt regret, but I’m from a large family, and have many nieces and nephews, so no one looks at me to “continue the family name”. In fact, being the black sheep, there is often a sigh of relief.
Dating can be a challenge, I’ve had more than one relationship end because they wanted kids, and I’ve had some never start because they had kids already.
Now I’m with someone who is as CF as I am, and this only ever comes up in jokes.
I’m 58, child free. I think it depends on the reasons you don’t hand kids ? If its just so you can party, those reaosns will likely change.
My first wife and I were on the same page, so I had a vasectomy, she didn’t need to be on the pill,.albeit her reasons for CF were differnt to mine. I didn’t want them mainly for ecological reasons, too many people on a small planet, that has only become more urgent since, so those reasons haven’t changed, if that makes sense ?
My current parter had 2 kids from a previous marriage but she had them young and they were grown up, moved away to other cities with thier own lives when we hooked up. She loves then dearly and is proud of them but has said she’d never have had kids knowing what she knows now.
I could always have adopted, the world is full of unwanted kids, no need to bring more into the world.
