In the many times I’ve had men (and some women ffs) force this explanation upon me, they usually:
Have fundamental misunderstanding of what feminism is. They often think women want dominance over them or something, giving them a victim complex.
Support feminist values in theory, but get annoyed when literally anything at all is asked of them to contribute to meaningful change. (see also: systemic racism)
Neither of these are an excuse and I’m so exhausted hearing them over and over.
I think the logic on #1 (though they probably don’t consciously realize this) is women have generally been treated terribly for millennia, they don’t want the same treatment themselves.
It also makes sense when you realize they’re fine with a negative sum as long as they get a larger share, but they understand that saying that would get them in trouble.
There also is a fair amount of (very understandable) misandry mixed in with feminism. Not that all feminists are misandrists but all misandrists are feminists and this is amplified in media.
Dude. We’re talking about a person who hates men and boys but also thinks women should have fewer rights and opportunities than them. What would that even look like?
Then there’s the rarer #3 (but still very nice when it happens):
They were ignorant at first, and then taught about it, and then realised it, and work on it and speak on other men when they behave badly.
Those are the good allies <3 and I try to focus on those things. Pessimism makes us feel desperate and lack the will for action. Focus on the good we have wrought so far!
Yeah, though in my experience, those men are genuinely curious and asking good faith questions to begin with, rather than just fire-hosing their opinion.
I guess I was mainly complaining about the unsolicited opinions I hear when the topic comes up (and sometimes, when it didn’t… -_-).
In the many times I’ve had men (and some women ffs) force this explanation upon me, they usually:
Have fundamental misunderstanding of what feminism is. They often think women want dominance over them or something, giving them a victim complex.
Support feminist values in theory, but get annoyed when literally anything at all is asked of them to contribute to meaningful change. (see also: systemic racism)
Neither of these are an excuse and I’m so exhausted hearing them over and over.
I think the logic on #1 (though they probably don’t consciously realize this) is women have generally been treated terribly for millennia, they don’t want the same treatment themselves.
This makes sense if you have a zero-sum world view.
It also makes sense when you realize they’re fine with a negative sum as long as they get a larger share, but they understand that saying that would get them in trouble.
There also is a fair amount of (very understandable) misandry mixed in with feminism. Not that all feminists are misandrists but all misandrists are feminists and this is amplified in media.
Misandrists are fake feminists
Real feminists are not misandrists
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Yes? I have never met someone who hates men that also thinks women deserve fewer rights than them.
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Dude. We’re talking about a person who hates men and boys but also thinks women should have fewer rights and opportunities than them. What would that even look like?
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Damn women can’t even have their own movement? Its giving “all lives matter.”
Then there’s the rarer #3 (but still very nice when it happens):
Those are the good allies <3 and I try to focus on those things. Pessimism makes us feel desperate and lack the will for action. Focus on the good we have wrought so far!
Yeah, though in my experience, those men are genuinely curious and asking good faith questions to begin with, rather than just fire-hosing their opinion.
I guess I was mainly complaining about the unsolicited opinions I hear when the topic comes up (and sometimes, when it didn’t… -_-).
Edit - oh, damnit, I didn’t see what community I was posting in. Hello from /all. Sorry to intrude!
It’s fine thanks for editing your comment it’s really respectful ❤️