Here recently it seems like everything just gets under my skin so quickly and easily. It’s not that I get mad and take it out on others, it’s just the fact that I’m constantly annoyed and stressed. Something as simple as the dogs tracking some mud through the house will just ruin my mood. I know some people who would just laugh it off and clean it up. Meanwhile I’ll get pissed that I didn’t wipe their feet and be mad the entire time I’m cleaning it up. This has nothing to do with the dogs, it just an example. Any number of seemingly insignificant things can trigger me like that. Like forgetting something at the store and having to go back. I would love to be able to go, “well that sucks” and just get over it.
Reacting also means any thoughts you may have. You reacted by thinking all of this:
That’s reacting. VERY reacting. Did it solve anything by reacting like that? Telling me all that? Does it fix your problem - the idiots on the road? No. What would fix the idiots on the road? Speaking to your political reps, volunteering or funding road safety charities.
No it isn’t. I strongly urge you to study it more. Mindfulness is the first and very important step to realising emotions don’t rule you. You rule your emotions but most people manage their emotions badly. They fight or ignore them. That’s a bad idea because they don’t like being ignored, they come back x10. I’ve done DBT which is like CBT for emotional regulation and mindfulness is a key component. Mindfulness teaches you to detach from your emotional impulses and react more rationally. It’s a lot like CBT but it uses mindfullness to help you learn that fundamentally important fact: You are not your emotions.
You don’t ignore your anger, sadness, pain, etc with mindfulness, you embrace it.
Take meditation - pure mindfulness - you sit in silence with your eyes closed. Your arse hurts (pain), your back (pain), am I breathing right (anxiety)? I should focus on that (intention), fuck I’m bored (iritation), I’m tired (tired), maybe I should eat (bored/hunger), etc. The simplest, most basic activity you can do is immensely difficult for people to manage more than 5mins of. Why? Because you’re governed by your emotions, those drives and annoyances flooding you every few seconds. You realise your mind is noisy as hell but meditating/sitting silently teaches you that you aren’t those emotions.
From there it becomes easier to ‘pause’* your feelings and make a more rational and useful response. A response that gives catharsis.
*pause is the wrong word. You kindof ‘pause’ your inner state, step back, assess and act. It sounds overly complicated but like any skill it becomes second nature and instantaneous with practice. Meditation is a form of practice and living your daily life as mindfully as you can is practice.
Is basically CBT/DBT and mindfulness spat out in quote format. Having read the above maybe you’ll see that in these Marcus Aurelius quotes:
Recommended Reading:
I’m glad those quotes helped you, but to me they just look like vague platitudes. And I say this as someone who does not have trouble controlling their emotions.