Reminds me of a joke I heard years ago. I forget the full set up but basically:

Three guys are asked: What’s the fastest thing you think of?

The first guy says “A thought! Y’know it’s just there!”

The second guy says “Light! When I turn on the light switch in my garage the lights on the far end turn on instantly.”

They all murmur in agreement while the third guy is still thinking of an answer. Finally he speaks up.

“Diarrhea.”

“Diarrhea!?!?” Everyone asks dumbfoundedly.

“Well yeah. Before you can think or turn on the lights you’ve got shit all over you!”