So, hear me out.

I’m a 47 year old guy and I’m not ashamed to say that I enjoy video games. I always have, from playing Head over Heels on a Speccy +2 to ESO and Valorant on my self built PC.

Due to various life circumstances, I’m also on the dating scene and to most women I meet, around my age, video games are anathema. When I say that I like them it’s usually meet with an “oh dear” or a “my son would probably love to talk to you about them, I find them really boring”

I have two boys, both teenagers, both play all the time and sometimes we all play together (although they are better as they have more time to apply to games). Their friends are amazed that I will talk about games with them, that I know someone about games and that I play games. None of their parents want to talk with them about what is effectively their main hobby that they do all the time (big sad).

So the question, there must be some sort of cut off age at which video games are no longer an acceptable pastime. Is it absolute age based (nothing after 35) or is it something to do with the progression of games into popular culture and people born after, say, 1986 will not see it as unacceptable?

I don’t have an answer, I just think it’s an interesting question. Thanks for reading, let me know what you think!

Edit to add: I’m not planning on stopping through peer pressure, just wondering about the phenomenon!

  • Manticore@beehaw.orgEnglish
    4·
    2 years ago

    Maybe - certainly generations always assume anything that younger people do is somehow worse than what they did, and the digital landscape is a part of that. When writing slates became accessible, the old guard complained it was ‘lazy’ because they didn’t have to remember it anymore. Any music popular among teenagers (especially teenage girls) is mocked as foolish, cringe, etc.

    But I suspect like most hobbies, it’s mostly the following that determine our assumptions:

    • history of the media and its primary audience (digital mediums are mostly embraced by youth; video games initially marketed to young children)
    • accessibility; scarcity associated with prestige (eg: vital labour jobs are not considered ‘real jobs’ if they don’t require a degree)
    • the kind of people we visibly see enjoying it (we mostly see children, teenagers, and directionless adults as gaming hobbyists)

    You’re right, reading is not somehow more or less moral than video games. Many modern games have powerful narrative structure that is more impactful for being an interactive medium. Spec Ops: The Line embraces the players actions as the fundamentals of its message. Gamers are hugely diverse; more than half the US population actually plays games at this point, and platforms are rapidly approaching an almost even gender split. (Women may choose to play less or different games, and hide their identity online, but they still own ~40% of consoles.)

    Games as a medium is also extremely broad. I don’t think you could compare games to ‘watching anime’ for example, so much as ‘the concept of watching moving pictures’, because they can range from puzzles on your phone, to narrative epics, to grand strategies, to interactive narratives.

    So a better comparison for video games isn’t ‘reading books’ so much as reading in general, and are you reading Reddit, the news, fiction, or classic lit? What does your choice of reading mean?

    So for your suggested hobby of ‘reading books’, one might assume any (or all) of the following:

    • they are intelligent and introspective (or pretentious),
    • they are educated (or think they’re better than you),
    • they are patient and deliberate (or boring),
    • they’d be interesting to discuss ideas with (or irrelevant blatherers).

    Assuming everybody who reads is ‘smart’ is as much an assumption as assuming everybody who games is ‘lazy’, and the assumptions you make about the hobby are really assumptions you make about the typical person who chooses it. It may not be a guarantee, but its a common enough pattern.

    TLDR: Ultimately? I think books have inflated status because it’s seen as a hobby for thinkers; people picture you reading Agatha Christie (but you could be reading Chuck Tingle, or comic books). Games have deflated status because it’s seen as a hobby for people who consume mindlessly - the people who know what games are capable of are the ones playing them, too.

    • xfilesalien@vlemmy.netEnglish
      3·
      2 years ago

      Just want to say, your comments on this subject are very well thought out. I agree that perception plays a huge part of the idea of older people playing what most today still consider a kids hobby. I’m not sure when that would change, like you stated probably only when that hobby stopped being a primarily viewed as childs pastime. Im in line with OPs apprehension on revealing that I’m a big gaming hobbiest and honestly leave out mentioning it until I know the person better. Even in other environments, like work for example, I normally don’t list gaming as my primary hobby to others initially. I will say though I’ve seen upper management types start to even list gaming as a hobby now so I feel like some small progress has been made in pealing back the impression people have initially on gaming as an older person.

      • Manticore@beehaw.orgEnglish
        2·
        2 years ago

        Thank you for your kind words.

        I believe things will change as gaming becomes the norm. It already has changed in younger generations; its just that OP is old enough that most people his age don’t play. All hobbies and lifestyles come with superficial assumptions when viewed by the people who don’t have personal experience with them.

        Say, a person who drinks wines is considered distinguished, but a person who drinks beers is not. Yet a wine-drinker might just like getting efficiently drunk, and the beer-drinker likes crafting IPAs in their garage.

        We are rapidly moving to gaming being the norm. I still believe that if somebody asks ‘what do you do’ your answer should be something that prompts a conversation, but that’s because that’s how dating works, not because gaming is wrong. Gaming at all no longer has stigma among the majority of younger people. It’s the ones who grew up in a time that they were toys who still see them that way.