I think work is the reason that you are unable to devote a meaningful amount of time to things that energize you.

If society was structured so that we didn’t need to work/grow constantly, we would have so much more time to tap into the vibrations of the universe and create art/music.

Me? Me is that you?

If you have ADHD you will often have depression stemming from the experience of your life under ADHD, in the manner described in the post.

If you have depression as your primary issue, the problem of not getting things done is not usually due to distraction or executive dysfunction in the way that it is for ADHD. It’s more likely due to mental and emotional fatigue and feelings of uselessness/hopelessness, which then manifest as executive dysfunction.

The two problems are often co-morbid - appearing together. What makes the distinction is which of the two issues is primary. Are you depressed because of your executive dysfunction, or are you exhibiting characteristics of executive dysfunction because you’re depressed?

There is a lot of overlap in symptoms and in my experience a lot of ADHD adults (maybe especially women) are (mis)diagnosed as depressed before getting ADHD diagnoses and on medications. There can be some differences, like symptoms being continuous throughout your life despite not feeling depressed, having periods of hyper focus, or areas that you excel in.

I usually hate doing the “please read this article,” but I think this piece describes really well the challenges faced by people with ADHD because if their lack of executive function. Important quote:

Tasks in the neurotypical world have a beginning, a middle, and an end. Individuals with ADHD don’t know where and how to start, since they can’t find the beginning. They jump into the middle of a task and work in all directions at once.

And I would add to that - if they jump in at all. A person with depression may not be folding their laundry because they cannot get out of bed. A person with ADHD may be up and around and doing a bunch of things but not the things they need to be doing, like folding laundry, because they don’t know where to start, and it’s way too overwhelming.

Then, it’s also possible to have depression and ADHD, especially since being neurodivergent can be fucking depressing. Then it’s a double whammy.

I hope this helps explain it.

There is some overlap, but it’s different in how they play out internally. With depression it’s usually a pack of energy or motivation to do it, whereas with ADHD there may be plenty of energy (and even motivation) but there’s an inability to stop and change gears. There’s usually an internal struggle of “I really need to do that” but being incapable of actually making the decision to do so.

I remember things when I can’t do anything about it. Stepping over the laundry I forgot to start, but now I am in a hurry to go somewhere and don’t have time. I remember that I forgot to start the dishes after getting to work.

That is how I read it and related.

Add some anxiety in. They can also be interrelated to a high degree. I’m diagnosed with adhd and anxiety and on pills to keep the depression from killing me. Therapist wanted to focus on the anxiety because it may be at the core of all of it.

On Monday I managed to feed my kids breakfast and lunch, I managed to get a load of dishes going so they would be clean in time for dinner, I went to the kids school open house. I even mowed the lawn.

What I did not do was the recycling or spend the whole day policing my kids so the built a fort in the center of the house and one in the basement.

When my spouse came home they instantly let me know how angry they were because the house was a mess and I had not done anything about it. They were pissed at me, nearly unable to even look at my face without anger bubbling over.

I managed all that and I worked a normal day. It was not enough it’s never enough. Every week my manager has to point out when I’m falling behind on projects. Every week my spouse gets to a point of anger where they can’t stand me in their presence.

Yes I deal with depression but it’s because the world expects more from me than I can manage so I have to fight the depression everyday and put nearly all my mental energy into catching my ADHD and executive distraction issues.

Even worse, I’m medicated effectively and mental health is covered for unlimited visits.

That’s so relatable!

I’m supposed to read these 3 in-depth research articles before a 2-day training that starts tomorrow, and I haven’t even begun looking at them. The inner panic is real. Yet here I am on lemmy…

All I know is if we shame ourselves, it will get worse and we will be more paralyzed into inaction. My rule is, if I can’t get to positive self-talk, I aim for neutral. So, instead of “omg, you’re such a piece of shit, why can’t you just do this like a normal fucking person” I might say to myself “OK, you are struggling to do what you need to do. It’s not ideal and it’s also explained by your neurodivergent brain. You’re not lazy, but you also can’t sit there completely frozen. What’s one tiny step you can take towards your goal?”

I’m not saying it works 100% of the time, but it’s certainly better than sitting in shame and putting yourself on blast.

I have till the 12th for mine so there’s still time to procrastinate.

Then you’re doing your best at being lazy. I’m proud of you either way.

ADHD is tough, and life does not slow down or wait for us. I hear you on acquiring more responsibilities with age and not being able to “adult” well. That’s why self-kindness is so important. I don’t know you, but I bet you are doing your best.