I still play games, but I did definitely notice a change in the way I do play them.

When I was young, there was a magic to everything. Most of the things in life are pretty new to you when you’re young. There’s so much you don’t understand, so much new stuff to explore. I didn’t know that the guests in Rollercoaster Tycoon were just some simple algorithms, to me they seemed like people. People who’d enjoy all the crazy things I’d build. I didn’t know that the AI in Age of Empires was just a collection of some rules, to me they felt human-like.

Over time, especially because I’m a programmer, the magic got lost. I started understanding how these things worked. And because of that it started feeling pointless. Just something I do to waste my time and nothing else. The guests felt nothing, the AoE AI are just some if statements.

However, somehow I also kinda outgrew that phase again. After dealing with what could be called a “quarter life crisis” I’ve kind of found a more creative and open minded side of myself. One that doesn’t always try to resolve everything to cold hard facts. One that pretends that the guests in RCT have feelings, even if I damn well know that they don’t. I’ve started finding plenty of new games that filled me with wonder again, whether they are large games like Cyberpunk or Jedi Survivor, or smaller games like Celeste, Hades, or Cassette Beasts. Coincidentally I also stopped playing live service and competitive games mostly. There’s plenty of fun to be had beyond all the lootbox and battle pass grindfests.