I’m 24 and dealing with high blood pressure. I’ve seen five doctors, had countless tests, and they all say the same thing: “Take these pills and try to reduce pressure in your life.” It’s as though my blood pressure and heart rate have minds of their own, fluctuating freely without any reason.

For the past six months, I’ve felt like I’m on borrowed time. Every morning, I gulp down my pills, hoping I won’t have a stroke or end up disabled. Once, I dared to think I was better and skipped my meds for two days. Unfortunately, on day three, my blood pressure shot up over 150, bringing me crashing back to reality.

I’m not an nihilist, I’m the opposite of that. But facing my own mortality every second of life has hit me hard. Maybe I’m just like a “24 years old kid” tasting life’s bitterness for the first time. I hate to compare myself with others, but seeing friends partying, doing drugs, and sipping coffee just makes me hate this fate of mine even more.

I’m an artist, I studied music and wrote lots of songs (only keep them for myself, not trying to be a celebrity or anything like that…), and music has always been my escape. Lately, though, my songs have been pretty dark.

I’m sharing my story not for sympathy, but to connect with anyone else who’s going through a same journey in their life. If you’ve been there and made it out, please tell me how you did it. Any advice, hobby, or habit would help! And if you’re still stuck in the trenches like me, just know you’re not alone.

P/S: This post has been improved by ChatGPT since I’m not confident in my English.

  • Thrillhouse@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    Everyone has their stuff and their time to go through it.

    Looking at what others are enduring too helps for inspiration and strength - frig someone I know has a parent dying of ALS and doesn’t even show it in their day to day. That’s a rough situation, they’re in their early 30s like me and they’re handing it with so much grace.

    Someone else I know, late 20s, just severely injured themselves in a foreign country to the point where they are in a medically induced coma and may never walk again. The medical bills are going to be at least $100k to evacuate them out, and they can’t leave the country until it’s paid. That’s awful for them and their family.

    I wouldn’t trade either of these situations for my own.

    I’m not saying OP should look down on people who have it worse or that they can’t be mad/sad with their current situation. Just that hearing others’ stories can help with the strength to move forward.

    In terms of my sis, one of the greatest lessons in life I’ve learned is that you can’t make another adult do anything even when it really is the best thing for them. I think there’s a strong criminal harassment case but she’s gotta get there - I just have to support her until she does. This gets him out of the house, makes it safer for her, and then they can divide assets. She’s trying to deal with him rationally and keep harmony but it hasn’t sunk in that no matter what she does it will boost the tension and she’s just gotta rip the band aid off in the smartest and safest way. In divorce law, it can be used against you if you “abandon the home” and their home has tons of equity so she can’t go anywhere. And any subsidized housing for him is several years’ wait. Hard to convince a mentally ill person who needs treatment of that when he flip flops between his new GF, breaking up with his new GF, can him and my sister get back together, wait no my sister is the devil and me and her are both cheating on our husbands (lol not cheating in her case because they’re separated), emailing my husband these lies and then in a separate email admitting they are lies, believing her birth control IUD is actually an abortion and she’s a baby killer, then wait no GF and him are back together.

    • LSNLDN@slrpnk.net
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      6 months ago

      Fuuuucking hell. Sending you positive energy. You’re right that reading others trials and tribulations really helps put one’s own shit into perspective. And there’s always so many people having a worse time of it especially right in the world. Thank you for sharing your experience and I hope it gets much better for you soon