• mommykink@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    I got my first girlfriend in highschool when I was 14 and she was 18. She was emotionally and sexually abusive to me and responded to every attempt for me to break up with her by threatening suicide and self harm. She would usually send me pictures and videos of her cutting herself whenever I did anything to upset her. I would do things differently now, but about three years into that relationship I started talking to a boy who showed me what an actual healthy relationship is supposed to be like and I’m not very ashamed to say that what I did would be considered cheating, but I was a borderline groomed, socially awkward autistic boy whose only relationship experience had been based blackmail and abuse against me.

    When I did eventually make the move to break up with her and admit what I’d done, she tried doing almost exactly what the girl in the picture is doing to the guy and sit down with me and proceed to verbally berate me (I don’t think I’ve been called a f*ggot more times in one day than that one) and threaten to tell my family everything. We ended up staying together for another few months after that because I didn’t just stand up and walk out that day.

    • PotatoKat@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      “I’ve been in similar situations”

      describes completely different situation

      • Fosheze@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        We literally don’t know the situation in the picture. They could be reviewing the texting scene for their upcomming movie for all we know.

      • mommykink@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        Different how? Am I missing some context that you all have? The only thing that I’m getting out of this picture is two people who should just walk away from each other. Obviously I’m not saying my situation and this one are a 1:1 comparison, but no, nothing good is happening here. The guy should walk away and think about what went wrong and the girl should’ve saved the $30 it took to print those out and go out for a nice dinner with some friends.

        • PotatoKat@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          You were the abused partner in an abusive relationship with the women being the perpetrator. Your scenario ended with your abuser convincing you to stay. This scenario is clearly the one where the person being cheated on is breaking it off. Just because there was cheating involved in your story and a sit down in your story does not make your experience anywhere near analogous with what is going on in the picture.

          You don’t know him, you don’t know her. For all you know if she did what you said and just broke it off she’d get a torrent of “babe come back I’ll never do it again it was only one time babe please ur my love” messages for months. Your scenario ended with the abuser convincing you to stay. This is clearly the one being cheated on breaking it off

          You are projecting a very unlikely scenario due to your own experiences. The most likely scenario here is that she caught him cheating and didn’t want to leave him room to deny so she printed the proof for when she confronted him.

    • cheesepotatoes@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      So you don’t see how the situation you’ve described is not at all similar in any way to the hypothetical scenario we’re all discussing here of a cheater being confronted with evidence of their infidelity?

      • mommykink@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        Not really tbh. I’m seeing two people who are obviously unhappy with each other and whose best action is to walk away from each other entirely. There’s nothing productive being done in this picture, from what I can tell, and everyone’s hypothetical story they’re applying to the picture is based on conjecture; I just threw in my own past experiences.

        • Rolando@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          You’re getting a lot of undeserved scorn, fam. I think it’s fair for you to say that based on your experience, walking away can be the right answer. In fact, if anyone finds themselves in a situation that brings back past trauma, or they don’t feel safe, or they don’t feel in control of their emotions, it’s perfectly reasonable to walk away.

          I think people are disparaging you because it sounds like you’re saying the guy should just cheat, and if he’s caught he should just walk away without remorse. I don’t think that’s what you mean, but people might legitimately interpret it that way.

        • Ragnarok314159@sopuli.xyz
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          6 months ago

          I want to tell you something - I get it.

          I had a woman professor manipulate me. Long story short: She told me to meet her at a hotel and we were going to fuck, and if I didn’t then that is my grade. She told me she deserves a little fun. This happened several times before graduation, and she did shit like this where she would tell me what my texts and emails really meant. It was just massive gaslighting.

          The people shitting on you are the ones that don’t understand being a garbage human being in a relationship is not sex dependent. Females can be equally horrific as males.