We’re currently looking to start a family, so I thought I’d hit up YT for some advice as a male and the priority skew is mental. The most important thing is having a boy, apparently. Not tips for being supportive, how to help your partner, how to deal with anxieties about money and time.
Bonus feed
Dad’s of Lemmy could you share some good advice for someone just starting a family please :D
As weird as it sounds: try to think like a single dad: as if mom is not the default main character. The reason for this is it is very easy for a dad to defer rights and responsibilities to mom. It is socially acceptable, even. Especially when you’re a tired dad with work in the morning.
So doing simple shit like doctor’s appointments and taking the kid to a park or grocery shopping without mom’s management or involvement can be huge. Be a parent that is a dad. Like learn some developmental milestones that the mother might be tracking and/or worrying about that quite often aren’t taught in schools or to boys.
More than just being physically there, being mentally checked in can be huge.
If you are fortunate to have it: take leave from work. I know it isn’t an option for many and many employers scrutinize parental leave in general let alone for dads, but my advice is ‘Fuck em.’ (Maybe take some of that time to find a job that respects a father and family. I did and I do not regret it one bit.)
I think the first 6 months for both my kids I did all the Dr appointments. Even the Drs at first were surprised I was doing it but it was nice to do the grunt work and let the wife chill out.