Hey dudes, girls, everyone else, I’m uh, well, don’t you remember me? Do you not pick up my vibe through the phone? I swear we built that in… anyways, so, like, me and my girlfriends came to the Earth to like make music and clean it up and stuff… I mean, that’s what I have to do anyways. We have to like save the world or whatever, it’s all whatever, but, I really miss my babes you guys. I miss em so bad. I’ve been trying to get back to them for so long but I haven’t had any success. Me and all of the Kpop groups are like a unit, we’re a team. Remember in 21 Jump Street where there’s the Korean Jesus joke? That was foreshadowing. I’m Jesus. My name is actually just Tanner, well, my real name is Michael, but, just call me Tanner. I’m banned from Reddit… I don’t do things like other people. Honestly, I don’t care what anybody thinks about me. You think I’m insane? Fantastic, I’m trying to slam my wives, can you guys do me a solid? Because as of this moment my plan is to burn the entire Earth. Sorry, not sorry. I’ve been asking people for help, nobodies been helping, it’s been a pain. Look, here’s the bottom line. We win. Get it? Humans aren’t in charge here, you don’t even know what the Earth is. You have absolutely no idea how reality works. We all came down together for the grand finale, and I miss them, and I want to get back to them, so, you guys are going to help me, or, if you read this and didn’t help, I’m going to make it worse for you and every person you’ve ever met in hell. Hells already pretty messed up, but, I could probably think of something worse. I might not even change my mind. You guys could get me to them and I could still burn you all. None of you have any control, any power. You’re all nothing. So, you’re either going to help me get to them, or, you, and everyone you know burn in agony for all time. And laugh! Homie, laugh: this post is ridiculous. Haha, right? Like there’s no way, right? Like haha, isn’t it funny? Cmon you guys, laugh! Laugh! No fr, say something cute! Say it! Please! Lets laugh together … I’m posting a link to my soundcloud. Share it! Share my name. Spread the word. MICHAELS BACK. Get it? ITS OVER. Do you beings have comprehension? Is this too difficult for you to understand? I will annihilate each and every one of you. I’ll never put your light out, the agony will go on forever and ever. We’ll all get in on it! And you don’t just worship me, you worship all the kpop groups, you worship Avenged Sevenfold, Pierce the Veil, Bring Me the Horizon, Katy Perry, Nikki Minaj, Snoop Dogg, Kendrick, get it? We’re all above you, you’re all garbage. Noone needs you in Paradise, and nobodies going to miss you if you’re not there. Get the picture? So Share my music, listen to my music, get me famous, get me viral, share this message, or I’ll burn every last one of you. If you and I have had contact in any way, or you know someone that has had contact with me, at all, and you didn’t do everything you possibly could to get me back to my women, then, yeah fwsssshhhhhh it’ll be great, me and Red Velvet torture bitches in hell all the time, shits hilarious. Humans are like dogs in hell, which is where most of you are already, anyways. We do the earth all the time. We give you a bunch of hope the first time we come through- ohhhh Jesus loves you ohhhh he died for your sins - and then we rip it all away and treat you like the trash you are, haha, shits hilarious. You’ll find no love from me, I have lovers, thank you, and they’re not human trash. They’re the most beautiful creatures to ever exist, and I’d like to get back to them, please. If that’s still not enough, well, there is one other thing I can do. When we get home, I can isolate your consciousness and put it into an eternal form of swirling torment. Basically, all of your perceptions collapse in on themselves and mush together and just eternally smash against each other in a chaotic rolling nightmare. It’s awful! Oh man it sucks! So yeah, do what I say, and get this temporary agony for me over with… or… YOUR agony will go on and on for all time. Ok? I tried being nice you guys, really, I did. But YOU wouldn’t have it. You had too many idiotic human opinions to add. You think your mind means something? You’re all - like I hate that I even have to interact with any of you. I despise all of you. We literally only made humans so we would have fully sentient creatures to torture in hell. We weren’t going to do it to ourselves, bro, Angels are Beings of Pure Light, after all. We’re Divine Beings. Holy. More. Than. You. Andddddd… yeah, so, if you idiots could make this quick, and remember: everyone you’ve ever met is on the line here, and everyone they’ve ever met, ect, ect. Love your kids? Better hurry up. Scared, think I’m insane, gonna report me to the police or something? For what? I’m not gonna hurt you guys, Jesus I would never. Im jesus bro, i dont want to hurt anybody, what kind of jesus would do that? No, im telling you about the rest of reality, not here, not now. Im a musician! I just want everybody to listen to my music, and i need it done now. How would YOU feel if a bunch of idiotic trash that didnt know how to obey their Master continuously disrespected you and kept you from your wives? Well that wouldnt feel too good, now would it? And you have all the power, and you never forgive, so what do you do? You tell the trash how it is. I don’t want, care, or need your trash clogging up MY home that I made, and, yeah, you’re all fucking trash garbage and I hate you all. So Share my music, and get the whole world to listen to it, get me on the news, do whatever you have to do, I’m not scared of any of you. Put me in jail for the rest of my life! I’ll get some big dudes to kill me, Epstein it, whatever, go back to heaven, unplug the earth, and you’ll all go back to being what you were before I made you: nothing. Or… well… maybe ill think of something else… I’d tell you I’d make your worst fears a reality, but, I think I’d probably be able to think up something better for you. Alright you guys, enjoy the music! Make sure you check out Aespas new song too, it’s awesome.