“and it’s also a little selfish of you to go out for groceries while there was a house fire, Emma.”

“Ffffffffffhonk!”

Thank you. I’m also glad to be here on this platform. 😌

Thanks. ☺️

Pfff. Try getting that done in 20 minutes. 😮‍💨

But if ‘getting stuck in large kitchen appliances’ is your thing, check these out:

• This stepsis horror story
• This oldie filled with cliches

In bed, I listen to podcasts of people talking about shitty movies. It drowns out the “party” in my head.

Oof. 😮‍💨

Dayum! That’s even worse than my joke. 😅

True. So true. I got so many dumb ideas left in my idea files. 😁

Aw crap. Another smudge on the lens. 🙄

Are we talking about DⴲGMA? Love that movie. 😎

Wasn’t jesus black? (Sorry, never read the book)

Drowned from an overflowing toilet.

Head first

Man, I hope I used a whole bunch of toilet paper before my heart stops. 😆

For a shitload of lithium. 👨🏻‍🚀💵🤑

“YEAH! HE ISN’T HARVESTING OUR SOULS, HE’S JUST A SKELETON, MEMORIZING CHILDREN’S DEATH WISHES. GET HIM!”

Also better than dying at the end of a long shit at work. 😜

Yessss. That would be great! 🙌

I love Terry Pratchett.

Sometimes I need to let the dogs out. If I don’t, they’ll be running around in my head all day. 😅