• 5 Posts
  • 155 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 20th, 2023

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  • I’d like to start by saying, from you post, it sounds like you’re handling this fairly well and doing a great job about communicating your need. While it makes sense that you’d want to try polyamory at the same time you’re redefining your relationship with the person you were married to, both of the things you’re trying to do put immense strain on the relationship. Individually, both things are going to be highly emotional and require a lot of clear communication.

    Polyamory is like sex, if it isn’t a “fuck yes” its a “no”. I don’t necessarily want want to say its hard, but it is a lot of work. Its a lot of talking about emotions, trying to coherently share how you feel about things that you may have never verbalized before, trying to understand other people’s experiences, and re-learning how relationships can be defined. Your partner may be scared but he may also know that it isn’t for him.

    When talking about this new guy, is he polyamorous? That could stop the whole process right there. Thinking of that, and maybe the kids are calling it something different these days, look into NRE or New Relationship Energy. Many people have cheated or tried opening their relationships because they wanted a specific somebody else and when it didn’t turn out how they wanted they found themselves single. If this new person wasn’t in the picture, would you still be interested in polyamory? If your current partner started dating someone else and you were only dating him, how would you feel about it?

    There is a lot going on, while I don’t know what your relationships look like, in your shoes I would either rebuild things with my current partner and look into maybe opening the relationship a few years into the future or pursue the new guy and start things off in an open relationship. Whatever happens, I hope that all of you end up with the best possible outcomes.





  • OmgItBurnsto196@lemmy.blahaj.zonerule
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    3 months ago

    I think most people who argue this either way aren’t actually serious about it. You do have solid points, however.

    Regardless, I will continue to argue about this point (opposite of whatever side whoever I’m talking to is taking) until it feels more annoying than fun to me.


  • OmgItBurnsto196@lemmy.blahaj.zonepunished rule
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    3 months ago

    I’ve flipped two cars. The only injury I had from those two incidents was cutting my finger in safety glass due to my own stupidity. The major down side to seatbelts is that they are difficult to undo when your car is upside down. The benefit of seatbelts is that they let you complain on the Internet about how hard it is to undo your seatbelt when upside down.


  • The most important aspect is motivation to improve and do cool shit. That can, also, be said about a lot of professions. The best thing you can do is to find what is most interesting to you and spend at least a few hours a week learning about it or engaging with it. It could be new features of a language you know, a programming methodology that is new to you, learning about/contributing to a FOSS project you like, or anything else.

    School and work will almost definitely force you to engage with the parts of development you don’t like, as well will give you an opportunity to engage with the parts of development you do like. It’s on you to keep yourself engaged and improving in your skills.


  • I think part of the issue is that it does act more like a search engine crawler than a traditional user. A lot of sites rely on real human traffic for revenue (serving ads, requests to sign up for Patreon, using affiliate links, etc) that gets bypassed by these bots. Hell in some cases the people running the sites are just looking for interaction. So while there is a spike in traffic, and potentially cost, the people running these sites aren’t getting the benefit of that traffic.

    Basically these have the same issues as the summaries that Google does in their search results but, potentially, have much larger impact on the host’s bandwidth





  • OmgItBurnstoADHD memes@lemmy.dbzer0.comWhat are your stories like?
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    4 months ago

    Im going to assume you’re not trying to be an asshole here and don’t really understand.

    Yes, most of us know that this is hyperbole. We understand that non-ADHD folks aren’t robots and generally have an understanding of what social interaction for people without ADHD looks like.

    Its the degree to which this effects us that is in play. When it comes to most things with ADHD if you read it and it sounds like something that everyone experiences just be aware that folks with ADHD experience it to a debilitating level.

    It isn’t that other people don’t get sidetracked or go on tangents when telling a story, it’s that ADHD folks struggle to or are unable to tell a concise story. Even if we’ve practiced and rehearsed it 1000 times. It’s common for us to clarify something multiple times because we’ve forgotten what we’ve already told you or start in what seems like the middle of a conversation because we’re unaware that you’re lacking context. It’s common for us to start explaining something, completely forget what we’re talking about half way through, and just keep talking and hope we somehow answer the original question. It can be legitimately difficult to have conversation on a specific topic.

    To the best of my understanding, this can be explained by the fact that most of us have a very limited working memory and struggle to pass information between working, short term, and long term memory. Often, we’ve quite literally forgotten what we were talking about and are using context clues to keep going.

    edit: Noticed that I missed a few words/had a partially rewritten sentence. I feel like I accidentally proved my point somewhat.