I might consider it, but I’m just scared of his reaction, especially because he knows where I live and we live like 5-10 minutes from each other😭
I hate that it has to be so difficult to be trans😭 There seem to be awful trade-offs both when stealth and non-stealth. Are you fully stealth or out to friends?
But did you tell them before or after being intimate? I feel like that complicates the situation as I’ve intimate with him (but not had sex)
I think my issue is also breaking stealth to disclose. Most people I meet in my day to day life are people with whom I have mutual friends, so I’d risk outing myself to my friends if I disclose to these men😅
Idk generally I do deal with anxiety so it might be because of that, but maintaining stealth is my number one priority in life. I do often think about whether maintaining stealth is worth having massively reduced dating options😵💫
I haven’t dated much, only been on 5 dates before, so I don’t have much experience😅 In this case he knows where I live and I can’t guarantee a positive outcome, so I won’t risk being assaulted. Generally I also avoid dating stealth as I feel it’s not too viable for me as, even though I seem to pass/be stealth, I still have some clockable features, but it has definitely been nice to just be seen and treated as any other woman🥹
Idk it’s kind of sad, but I can’t do much in this situation. But yaa I should be focused on studying anyway🥲
Kind of a side-track, but where have you had the most success when dating? I’ve tried some awful apps, but I met this guy through a friend.
Will be seeing a cute guy I met recently again today, but I don’t think he knows I’m trans, so it’ll be the last time I see him. So yaa, quite sad about that🥲
Somewhat positively though, I think I’ve narrowed down my future career goals, and my HRT dose was increased.
It sadly does seem like life is just inherently bittersweet. I guess my main issue is with the trans-specific issues that I wouldn’t have to deal with had I been born cis😭 Idk I’m just so tired of it all🥲
And thank you for sharing❤️
I honestly hate it so much. I vastly underestimated how awful dating, romance, etc. would be like after coming out. Most of my friends don’t seem to know I’m trans and I’m slowly cutting off people in my life who do know so I can’t even talk with anyone about it. It sucks how complicated everything is as a trans person.
Does anyone else find life kind of bittersweet?
Idk if it makes sense, but like I went clubbing with a friend of mine and we met up with some of his friends. I vibed really well with his one friend ‘James’ (not his real name) and my friend, James and I wound up going to get something to eat before heading to James’ place where we watched some anime. My friend fell asleep and one thing lead to another and me and James did a lot of kissing, cuddling and heavy petting. The next day we met up too and the same thing happened, but before that we also went to get something to eat and then we cuddled while watching some anime. And he isn’t pushy and doesn’t seem to only want sex. Idk it felt like he was interested in something more.
And like it sounds great, but also so incredibly bittersweet as I knew this would never lead to more as he didn’t know I was trans. It was a reminder of something I feel like I’ll never have, and now I have to kill off whatever spark was there. Honestly I just bawled my eyes out because of this realization that any relationship developing organically seems basically impossible while trans. At best I’ll get to wade through awful dating apps and in the end any partner I might find will have to know I’m trans which makes me sick. Idk it feels like cruel joke to have something great within reach, but then realizing it will never ever work out.
Oh cool! I didn’t know there were that many Danes here😳 I’m not that active on here, so I haven’t run into any other Danes so far😅
I thought I recognized that image😅 Are you from Denmark too? I thought I was the only one here🥹
Unrelated, but is your profile picture Egon Olsen?
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It’s definitely better than it used to be. I used to spend the vast majority of my time either self-harming or thinking about suicide. I didn’t really care much for anything back then, so I’m doing better now. I just have a hard time coping when my dysphoria gets bad. Like I often cry because I’ll never have kids or thinking about how much puberty ruined me.
So yeah it’s definitely better now on average than it used to be, I just find it hard to have any hope for the future. Most of my goals in life (getting married, having kids, moving abroad) are complicated or straight up impossible due to being trans :(
I relate a lot to what you’ve written. I also never bring up being trans or generally anything LGBT+ related IRL, and I don’t talk about my past. I definitely feel a sort of disconnect from other people, like I can’t trust anyone enough to be close to them. I don’t know if I pass because my view of myself is so warped, but I’ve had experiences that point to me passing at least some of the time.
I do sometimes have moments where I think I look alright, but then I’ll catch my reflection later on the same day and feel sick. I hyperfocus on my awful masculine features all the time. Being stealth is my number one priority in life, and I’ll kill myself if I’m not stealth before my 25th birthday.
For me being trans feels like a curse. I feel defective and I honestly wish I had never been born😞 My life feels so meaningless, and some of my biggest goals in life are impossible to achieve due to being trans. I hate having to deal with it all.
Thank you for the comment❤️ I do hope it gets better someday, but it’s hard to keep up hope. I’m at 2+ years of HRT and still get these awful bouts of dysphoria😭
How do you cope with the dysphoria?🥹
Yaa idk I’m starting to feel awful and suicidal again. Like I’ve come pretty far, I seem to pass and be semi-stealth in day-to-day life (though I’m not sure), but dysphoria is still getting to me. I just get constant reminders, like I’ll never be able to have kids, dating is a nightmare, I hate being trapped in my disgusting body. Puberty mangled me, and I’ll never be able to fix the damage, and I doubt I’ll ever find a boyfriend. I have a big urge to start selfharming again.
The thought of being stuck in this body for the rest of my life makes me feel sick, and I often wonder if it’s all worth it. Like why suffer through the next many decades like this? I’ll never have the life or body I want😞
Well maybe😅, I’m planning to go to the Caucasus region and then crossing down through Iran and Iraq to end up in Kuwait.
It’s quite hard not to😭 I feel like I’d be stressing too if I was out to my friends, like I feel that I’d be missing out on things that would not happen if I was open about being trans, and it’s risky career-wise as I’m in medschool and connections and reputation matter a lot as it’s kind of small community😵💫 idk in any case my goal is to be fully stealth by the age of 25 or I’ll off myself, so I have to minimize all risk😅