Triggers. Absolutely. If I have something to do, I write a reminder. If something important happens, I make a note. If I have an appointment, it goes in the calendar. Everything else just becomes dust in the wind.
When I was first diagnosed, it was my daily to-do list that kept me sane: breakfast, shower, walk, exercise… etc. Not so much that these were requirements as such, but as a reminder that these were worthwhile activities.
Personal choice. When I was first diagnosed, part of the ‘adult diagnosis program’ was looking at how to use a journal as ADHDer, rather than as a NT. As a result I spent a year or so with a handwritten journal, keeping notes on anything and everything I had the focus to write down. As I transitioned back into full time work, this quickly fell by the wayside as my free time reduced.
Now I mostly take notes digitally - at work using a variety of tools at my disposal, privately with obsidion for quick notes on my phone, or more complex topics on my nextcloud.
What to write down remains a struggle - as you say, the first bugfix gets a detailed description, then suddenly I realise I’ve fixed a half dozen points and written nothing…
I try to imagine future me looking at this issue, and how frustrated I would be without decent notes to describe it. That helps me to focus on what is valuable and what is not. Subjective and not perfect, but so is life.
I try to remember, to write anything is better than nothing, and only the act of trying allows any potential for improvement.
Take notes. It’s the only way I’m able to hang onto specific information and concepts ( ie code syntax, structures, processes ) in any reliable way. Your own notes are infinitely more valuable than any textbook(or blog or forum or whatever). Your own notes will be in your thought patterns, meaning when you read them later the information is ‘ready-to-eat’. Textbooks written by someone else provide information which first needs to be wrestled into shape before you can use it.
I have a self-hosted nextcloud server. I spent weeks learning how to set up apache, SSL certificiates etc. Then when 3 months later something broke, I had to learn it again from scratch - which led to me writing ‘guides’ for myself for all the stages of the process so the next failure would be easier to recover.
If it’s worth remembering, it’s worth writing down.
All the best! New languages (human or machine) are always difficult, but incredibly rewarding.
Oh i did this recently. Do not recommend. I was fried for days.
Deine Erfahrung bisher ist meines Wissens ganz Ublich. Ich war Mitte 30er erst ADHS diagnostiziert, meine erste Tagen mit Medikament waren genauso, wie in einem goldenen Traum von Ruhe und Klarheit. Das gäbe schnell nach, aber genau wie du beschreibst, es waren vieles im Leben was deutlich besser ging.
Wegen Zweifel an der Diagnose; das kenne ich auch. Selbstbezweifelung ist eher an sich schon eine Auswirkung der ADHS! Es gibt ein Punkt aber, wozu du schon äußerst: Ruhe durch Amphetamine zu finden, ist nur für die ADHSler.
Ich bin selber auch mit Lisdexamfetamin (Elvanse) unterwegs, und bin damit ganz zufrieden.
Herzlichen Glückwünsch auf deine Diagnose - ich hoffe es bringt dir die Verbesserungen, die ich selber erfahren habe. :)
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It’s an acquired taste.
Hold tight man.
Ouch. Do love that one meal tho
Yeah mate, that’s bang on. I was diagnosed at 35, after years of struggling with exactly what you describe. The guilt of ‘losing’ my adventurous streak, the quiet blame for holding someone else back. The shame is real, feeling like you’re never as much as you should or could be. It’s what leaves so many of us late diagnosis types scarred and withdrawn.
The turning around point was the diagnosis. Learning why you are experiencing all of that makes all the difference, gives you a frame of reference to deal with it and improve things. Start healing.
Importantly, even if the doctor says you’re ‘normal’, ie no ADHD, it doesn’t need to change your approach. Recognising who you are and how your mind works can come from a professional, or it can come from you. If I had been taught as a child to recognise my own patterns and deal with them in my own way, I’d have been much happier despite being undiagnosed. Everyone’s fucking weird, some of are just weird enough to get a doctors note (and meds) to go with it. Give yourself some slack, treat your mind with the care it deserves.
It’s a strange boat, but it’s ours ✌️
Sitting here on a Sunday evening seeing internet strangers describe my weekend as though they were here for it.
I have a reaction gif for this but don’t know where I saved it.
Ich hatte fast 3 Jahre Medikinet. Man sollte, wie mit alle Substanze, vorsichtig ausgehen. Aber ich hatte nie Probleme gemerkt. Wenn was, dann war ehe meine Alkohol-Verträglichkeit etwas höher, was kann gut oder schlecht sein nach kontext. Was ich negativ gefunden habe, war der Kater. Am folgenden Tag war die Wirkung deutlich reduziert - gleiche Dosus, weniger wirkung -> schlechte Stimmung. Ich war aber dann nur im gleichen Lage wie meine Neuro-Typische Freunden…
Sei vorsichtig, aber mach ruhig weiter.
I have a Fairphone 4 with LineageOS - it’s a couple years old now but runs great. The headphone jack situation was an issue for me too, but I bought a USB-C -> 3.5mm converter for a few euros which now lives in my headphones case, and honestly, it doesn’t bother me. Don’t let that small point keep you from a good device.
I appreciate that - exactly this is something I’ve been working on, and a lot of the time it’s fairly successful. But this is the ADHD curse - it’s all too easy to feel rejected and lonely because on this occasion I have no plans with anyone. The negative thoughts manage to persist much longer than the positive.
The Now always takes precedence, always dominates.
Happy belated birthday! That sucks - I know. I’ve been struggling this weekend with that perpetual loneliness. I have friends in this city, live with several in fact, but all too often when the weekend comes around everyone has made plans without me and I’m sitting at home on a Saturday night watching shows. It’s easy to interpret it as a judgement on myself, that I’m somehow not sufficient ( which I did for years before my diagnosis). It’s still not easy, and if I had an answer for you on how to deal with it I’d be a much happier person.
I try to let it just wash past me, accept that we have different patterns which often leaves these large gaps. With a couple of major exceptions, I’ve learned the only people I can rely on socially are other ND folk - and we’re infamously flaky to start with!
I can’t really offer advice, but know that you’re not alone, it’s not just you.
When it hit me, it hit me like a truck. I was diagnosed around 35, and after bouncing through the relief, euphoria, and anger (pretty much as OP described them) I was hit with a crushing sense of loss - I literally felt as though someone close to me had died - but who? I was fortunately in therapy as part of my diagnosis, and it took the doctor to say “Who died? You did.” for me to understand. The person I lived my entire life as had ceased to exist - that was a very unhappy person, constantly struggling, constantly suffering for reasons they couldn’t see. But it was me, and now they were gone. It was a brutal experience, but it gave me the freedom to start redefining my life.
You got this. Adrenaline is fuel for the fire.
Merci