Wanna find out? What’s your phone number?

Warehouse manager came in early (it wasn’t me)

Saw the pallets on the floor lookin’ swirly (it wasn’t me)

Thousands worth of product shattered (it wasn’t me)

Said my forklift skills don’t matter (it wasn’t me)

I know. That’s what makes my joke good.

Oh, shit. Good thing my boss is a chimpanzee.

I hereby claim that the law was broken! Arrest Elon!

I was going to go out and do some racist shit today, but I saw that the NFL wanted to end it, so now I’m seriously reconsidering said racist shit.

What about mass outgoing dick pics? Better not blur those. Those are my money makers.

Yeah, that’s nice. Lemme get some of that Wile E. Coyote movie though.

“We have to save our marriage by devastating our daughter for no reason!”