Rule number 1: Don’t shit on the bus!

Rule number 2: Sleep with your feet to the front.

Rule number 3: Don’t shit on the bus!

I used to have a pre-filled salt grinder that said “freshly ground for fresher taste”. I always thought “you don’t understand how rocks work” whenever I would read it.

Kash Patel looks like he just threw up in his mouth.

A few years ago I was sitting across from a guy at an airport and he was loudly buying skis for his son. Not only did I clearly hear the whole story of how his son just made the ski team and needed skis ASAP, I also heard his full credit card information.

I’m sorry for being a little late I was just wondering if you want to go to the beach with me and I will be there in about an hour or so.

There are some killer restaurants in gas stations where I live. Some of the best Thai food I have ever had comes from a shell station. It is just a couple of older Thai lady’s in a tiny kitchen serving up amazing togo food from the back of a gas station, and there is always a line.

Yes

My standard is a mix of plain Greek yogurt and plain “American?” yogurt with hemp, chia, and flax seeds, cinnamon toast crunch, and wheat checks all mixed together. A lot of times I will also do a banana, spinach, ginger, and tumeric protein smoothie.

I always call it “the hole in the bible belt”.

In case you were still wondering it is a Schlage Everest core.

I work at hight and one of my secrets is that I am afraid of heights, I am just really good at turning off the part of my brain that says what I’m doing is a terrible idea.