This sounds like an SCP.

Lately it’s been a kaleidoscope of mourning for a past that could have been… So much questioning, denial, and self doubt. 😔

I’m in this picture and I don’t like it 🐧

Real.

Yes, this is, in my limited but growing understanding, very normal behavior for us neuro-divergent types (ADHD, Autism, etc.)

About 6 months in and it’s hard to say there has been any real progress. Lots of thinking about it for sure 🤔

shud i continue purchasin products to further create distance between the humans n the rich?

Ugh I feel this one. So many products available to express femininity 😍 just buy buy buy this commodified version of the self 😔

Need to somehow find a balance between hyper consumerism and “It’s OK to buy yourself nice things sometimes.”

Kind of bothers me that I am thinking of all the people I know and trying to estimate if they are an LGBTQ Ally or transphobic.

And voice training!

Meee

Oh and pronouns! How could I forget those?

Fair point. <3

ADHD dialogue options:

• Backstory leading to conclusion.
• Backstory NOT leading to conclusion.
• Tangent! leading to nowhere!
• Interrupting them.
• Wait, what?

Joy murdered Bing Bong in Disney’s Inside Out (2015).

Thank you for kind words. <3

Things are OK. I was looking at TotallyNotJessica’s post encouraging more people to post in egg_irl, and I thought “OK, but what would I even post?” This was the result.

I’m at a point where I’m questioning the validity of my own experience. I just got diagnosed with ADHD, and I’m finally on medication that has significantly reduced my anxiety. While I was waiting for diagnosis I didn’t actively think much about being trans. I observed that if I’m not focusing on it, it’s not a thorn in my side, and it doesn’t bother me, and my impression was that for “real” trans people, dysphoria & the incongruity of identity in lived-experience is not just something they can ignore or turn off. So yeah, imposter syndrome, not trans enough, etc.

It leaves me to wonder, if I just deleted my trans-leaning social media & didn’t seek out the trans-affirming content, would I just forget all about it and settle into some form of non-queer (but still Allied) identity, as I did in the past when I never really thought about or considered these things?

(And now I’m realizing this is definitely Matrix red-pill/blue-pill territory, and I could probably make another egg_irl post just based on this ramble! 😅 )

(And yes, Children of Men (2006) is a great SciFi. Grim, dystopian, pulls no punches. Highly recommended.)

Just got diagnosed last week, and I am well into adulthood.

It’s a bit early yet. I am on starter meds and have a follow up appointment in a few weeks. Already though I have noticed impulse control is much better. It’s like I have a time machine that’s given me a few extra moments to respond to stimuli. Anxiety levels are also way down, and I don’t feel the frazzled need to jump to the next thing, trying to get a dopamine fix.

Trying now to pursue a 3 prong style of treatment: medication, forming new habits, and mindfulness/observation. I am doing mood journaling to try to capture my experience.

One of my all time favorites. I re-watch it at least once a year. The characters, the setting, the ✨cinematography✨. Just wonderful.

I have 2 settings. Highly engaging radio talk show host who won’t can’t shut up, or “wallflower mode, pls don’t notice me or I may burst into tears /flames.”

OK, I posted, but I took 10 d6 psychic damage in doing so. 🤣