I thought that was a Great Dane paw with a watch.

Are you from Mississippi?

Because you’re the only Mrs i wanna pee pee that I see.

Wait… wrong state… let me start again.

Not even cereal?!

Subjective but definitely not true. Lol

Thank you for confirming there is one. I thought OP was messing with us.

I like reading instructions for the simplest things. I go to the warning section and I imagine that someone had to type out text to not submerge the mechanical part of the my mini food processor because someone decided it was a good idea to wash a mini food processor by submerging it in water.

There is no creature that is so happy to see me everyday, so consistently, more than my purrito burrito.

He shows me what’s truly important, food, snacks, sleep, rest, naps, play, walks, drink water, and making sure strangers don’t get too close.

🐶

Depends on how long I have tp talk to them.

😕

Ya’ll want to play lightsabres on the toilet?

Be on the couch together while touching feet. 🤗

Treat yo’ self!

Manager: This idea for the project is so fetch.

Manager: If it’s not fetch then get fetch.

Programmer: Which repo are we git fetch ing?

I’m seeing influencers advertise these everywhere. Are these actually good?

I went to shoe store with my coworker who was 2 years older than me. A worker helping us assumed she was my mother… I feltvso bad. She felt embarrassed and pissed.

People would sell useless anti hand potions and devices.

Since it only kills one person, the majority of users think their magical device is what is protecting them.

Biggest scam in the world.

Eventually after cenuries of the scam, the CEO of the company gets killed and there’s a big conspiracy to hide it.

Eventually there will be a movie with Nicolas Cage aboit finding proof that the CEO did get killed by the hand.

It’s not gay if the Holey Spirit is between y’all

Let dude cook you cock blocking POS.

“Still not dressed, moving slowly, I’m going to be late.”

True.