In some ways it seems manipulative. Sometimes it is indeed a yes or no question, but most people know that certain answers require further explanation. It gives off the impression that you don’t wanna hear someone’s side of the story/debate. Sometimes “yes, but” or “no, but” is warranted.
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I’ve only used and heard this phrase used when it’s a simple matter of yes or no and no other input is warranted at all.
“Are you hungry?” “Are you cold?” “Do you wanna go home?” “Am I lined up?” “Did they win?” “Is it ready?”
None of these need more than a yes or a no as a response. Nobody needs to hear your whole life story just because they asked if you were comfortable in the chair you’re sitting in. It was a yes or no question.
Do you wanna go home?
This is one example of a question that does not necessarily fits the dichotomy of yes/no. I’ll give some hypothetical scenarios below:
Scenario 1: Alice is at her workplace, but she’s feeling sick, a strong headache and palpitation. Bob, his boss, asks “Hey Alice, you seem to not be feeling well. Do you wanna go home?”. If she simply replies “No”, it’d imply that she wants to continue to be at work. If she replies “yes”, it’d imply that she’ll go straight to her home, without seeking a hospital. Her correct answer here would be “Actually I wanna go to the hospital”.
Scenario 2: Charlie and Dean, are buying groceries at the supermarket. At the check-out, Charlie, who’ll pay their purchase, realizes he forgot his card at his home (they don’t use payment apps, neither cash). Dean asks “Do you wanna go home?”. If “yes”, it’d imply the abandonment of the purchase. If “no”, Charlie have no way of paying the purchase. Charlie is thinking of going to an ATM where his biometrics are alternative to access his bank account via the ATM so he can withdraw some cash. His correct answer here would be “Actually I’m going to an ATM”
I know the scenarios aren’t great scenarios, I’m out of examples here. Also, I dunno if I’m too much of a detail-oriented person, but I cannot see a fitting place for a simple yes or no here.
“Are you hungry?”
You can not be hungry and still want to eat something. Or not be hungry now, but you know you probably soon will be.
“Are you cold?”
It happens you are not cold enough to say you are cold, but not entirely comfortable either
Did you miss the part where I said “story/debate?” None of the questions you put fit that description. I even mentioned that there are some questions that do indeed only need a yes or no.
And I like how when I keep the same energy as you do I get downvoted. How soft lmao.
this is in no way an unpopular opinion.
Well that’s just like, your unpopular opinion, man
bruh! bruhhh…
I’m sorry you feel that way. Please forgive me, please? 🥺
for what?
Darn, well the least you can do is actually explain why it isn’t unpopular instead of just saying it.
“I’m sorry you feel that way.”
literally textbook gaslighting.
“Please forgive me, please?”
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comes across as sarcastic and insincere.
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i didn’t say i was offended, i said your opinion is not unpopular.
“…the least you can do is actually explain why it isn’t unpopular instead…”
you haven’t asked for information or clarification, what answer do you expect?
don’t act so entitled. nobody owes you anything.
if you want to know something, ask.
Your first response to my comments was “nah” which gives off the impression that you knew I was trolling. Then you deleted it and changed it to “for what?” I then said: “the least you can do is explain why it’s not unpopular” I don’t see how that’s gaslighting, but then you said “it’s not the least I can do” I was confused by that statement. So I said: “further explain instead of downvoting for no reason which you have literally done to every reply that I made. You’re right no one owes me anything but if you’re gonna say it’s not unpopular, at least explain why.
here’s an explanation of textbook gaslighting highlighting your phrase specifically:
if you don’t know you’re being manipulative, you should take a step back and be more careful with your language, you’re very rude and entitled and it doesn’t make me want to help you.
if you want information, ask.
“You’re right no one owes me anything.”
great.
“but if you’re gonna say it’s not unpopular, at least explain why.”
you still haven’t asked any questions, so I’ll redirect you to your only self-aware statement:
“You’re right no one owes me anything.”
if you want information, ask for it.
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that’s not the least i can do.
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So… you can do more? Make it make sense instead of just downvoting someone because they call you out for not elaborating on what you say.
Ask for clarification or more information politely if you want to know something instead of gaslighting people or being rude and flippant.
you’re very antagonistic.
How am I being antagonistic? You literally downvoted me for no reason lmao.
“It’s a yes or no question” = “I want a yes or no answer”
But not everything will be just a yes or no answer.
The question was presented as yes or no. It’s your prerogative to want to provide additional information, it is the prerogative of the asker to want a simple answer. It’s inconsistent to champion the desires of the responder while disregarding the desires of the asker. Unless there’s some kind of power imbalance (e.g. employer/employee), every party is entitled to engage with others as they see fit.
Horrible way of thinking but go off I guess
Depends on the context, but 9/10 times when someone busts it out they’re interrogating someone and trying to paint them as attempting to squirm out of a solid answer.
You’ll see this a lot in congressional hearings, it’s a great way to look like you’re really pinning the bad guy of the week industrialist to whatever angle you’re pushing.
Or when the question is a rhetorical trap
Did you stop beating your wife?
Everybody thinks differently.
When talking to someone like that, just explain that for you to view it like that, first all the context needs spelled out.
Like:
Should you ever burn your house down?
Treat it like a straight yes/no question and the answer is “no”. 99.99999% that’s the answer.
But what if there’s like, a really big spider? Or the thing from The Thing and you’re in Antarctica?
Don’t frame it as an excuse for why someone did something, ask for or provide the context. Be empathetic and think like the person you’re talking to, don’t argue with them treat it as as small independent steps that led or leads to what they’re asking about.
The correct time to use this statement is when providing backstory or explanations is not relevant. Some actions can be excused or explained, others cannot. Sometimes people like to overcomplicate things for the sake of justifying something that isn’t or shouldn’t be justifiable. Stating that a questions is a yes or no question is essentially saying “the reasons don’t matter, did this happen or not?”
This is definitely true, but not an unpopular opinion.
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I used to get this from my mom a lot. She always used it to shut down bringing nuance to a discussion.
Yes
It’s known as false dilemma, a logical fallacy.
Just a fact. When you’re getting bullied and this time you’re not into it.
No.
“Yes or no” is male logic.
Female logic goes like “no or yes or maybe or I don’t know or leave me alone I got a headache…”
/s
