This question is way above Lemmy’s pay grade. I hope your situation gets better. People are right in saying that if self-help fails then it’s time to give professional help another chance if that’s accessible for you.

I do listen to a lot of podcasts and have recently heard something relevant from an expert in the field:

The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos: How to Find Your Purpose

Episode webpage: https://omny.fm/shows/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/how-to-find-your-purpose

Media file: https://podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/pscrb.fm/rss/p/pdrl.fm/057e02/tracking.swap.fm/track/SxlTEPDY7xDg35RXkASs/traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/96c5c41e-0bc8-4661-b184-ae32006cd726/e1cedd34-b720-49da-98d1-b28f00c5badf/audio.mp3?in_playlist=d623ef0b-3fee-4c26-b815-ae32006cd739

Your post history also indicates that you’re routinely steeped in the worst doom news that social media serves up. It seems like it would be worth taking a break from consuming this material and find alternative ways to spend your time.