• AllonzeeLV@lemmy.world
    1024·
    1 year ago

    My big ex left me for a rich guy customer she met at work selling high end watches, who dumped her a couple years later. She's now fat and alone at 40.

    Her once traumatic "you know this hurts me too" parting line puts a smile on my face now. Sometimes following your exes is fun.

    • foggy@lemmy.world
      48·
      1 year ago

      My ex has breast cancer.

      It's a weird emotion to learn someone who hurt you has a serious illness. Like "yeah, fuck you-- oh. Oh that's way worse."

        • foggy@lemmy.world
          26·
          1 year ago

          I mean she did but still no.

          Like, it's not like she took a kid, or sullied my name, or took money, or ruined the life of anyone close to me. She just kinda deliberately and very dramatically broke my heart.

          I'm fine now; it definitely altered the course of my life and definitely caused a lot of pain, struggle, isolation, depression, humiliation, anxiety, etc. And a decade ago I was sure I hoped she'd face the same. Well she'll face all of what she put me through… And way more… Under the threat of death.

          It felt like finding out your hero is a fraud, if that makes sense. Like "Oh, this is actually not what I wanted at all. This is not cool. This sucks. And is actually pretty depressing."

          • SnipingNinja@slrpnk.net
            2·
            1 year ago

            I agree that you should not wish harm on them, but don't downplay how bad heartbreak can be. It affects both your physical and mental health, and I'm certain the latter of which can last a long time, not so sure if the physical health gets affected as permanently or not. Anyway, mental health damage alone can have terrible effects on your life.

            Also, the other things you mentioned are bad too, but those usually happen in addition to heartbreak, so it's easy to think that those are worse but heartbreak aside they have their own level of terribleness.

        • foggy@lemmy.world
          7·
          1 year ago

          It is oddly a difficult thing to wrestle with. Thankfully I am healthy, I guess, you know? Appreciated.

          • BleatingZombie@lemmy.world
            7·
            1 year ago

            If there's one piece of advice I (as a complete stranger) can offer is that it will likely take a long time to process. Be patient with yourself

      • png@discuss.tchncs.de
        2·
        1 year ago

        My ex committed suicide about a year after we separated and I am still in high school now. That was a fucking experience and a half.

    • DagonPie@kbin.social
      431·
      1 year ago

      My ex ran her over the guy she dated after me with her car so bullet dodged…or car dodged i guess.

  • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
    42·
    1 year ago

    Seeing some stories in here about how badly it goes to follow your exes so I’d like to offer an alternative story. I have no idea what’s going on in my ex’s life and it’s wonderful. She could be doing amazing, could be terrible, no answer would make me happy, and I’m happiest with no answer. I’m happily married now and don’t care.

    • legios@aussie.zoneEnglish
      9·
      1 year ago

      Yep I second this. I have gone NC with all my exes. Two wanted continued contact but that's just not me and sometimes people ask me what they're up to and I can happily respond I have NFI.

      The past is the past.

        • legios@aussie.zoneEnglish
          3·
          1 year ago

          In one case I found out they lied to me about why we broke up and the second she became a horrible, vindictive person after we broke up and started spreading lies and rumours about 6 month after we split. Originally both breakups were quite amicable and soured and they didn't understand that that had quite a lot to do with my decision to 100% no contact.

          I don't think I'm 100% against it now that I think about it further. I just seem to have a history of dating people with an underlying hurtful streak and/or poor empathy…