2086 Presidential Debates:

"First off, I would like to begin by denouncing my opponent for his ties to North-Korean style Satanic Fentanyl Cartels smuggling Migrants across the borders to enact their Putinist-Communist Islamic Radical Feminism in the hopes that every woman in the U-nited STates will have a spontaneous abortion so they can use the confusion to take our guns away. I yield the rest of my time. "

“I have never, nor will I ever be, a part of NKSFCMPCIRF. My friend across the aisle here, who I often see privately on his estate in Texas for drinks, is simply trying to smear my good name. In fact, my fellow Democratic congressmen recently approved funding for an array of autonomous hunter-killer drones to patrol the borders and inner cities for evidence of uncouth and uncivil behavior, which we all know is grounds for the immediate execution of any low-income offender. My hope is that we can perhaps work together on larger issues like the giant sinkhole that has opened up in the middle of the US, and is currently threatening the tectonic stability -”

“HORSE SHIT! There’s no dang evidence of any pot hole, look I’ll call my sister in Nebraska right now, you’ll see.”

“I completely concede my point, you’re absolutely right sir. Please take my wife too.”