I immigrated to the US at the age of 8. I’m Asian. I think I mastered the language at like probably 12 or 13.
I recall often in my life, people always assumed I didn’t speak English for some reason. Like before I had a chance to open my mouth, that question gets asked…
Not sure if it was because I was perhaps being quiet and unaware I was being quiet, so they made an assumption based on that, or if it had to do with how I look.
I kinda always felt a bit uncomfortable.
“Perpetual Foreigner” kind of.
I’m gonna give them the benefit of the doubt and assume it was just maybe I was quiet. But still. A white kid could stay quiet and I doubt the first thing a person assumes is oh he must not speak english.
Um… sorry if this is a weird ask, but those of you who live in immigration countries, have you ever been asked “Do you speak [Language of the country]?” Have you ever made an assumption about someone?
I live in Japan, a white person, and some people will assume that I don’t speak Japanese. The reality is that there are a great number of international tourists and there aren’t that many non-Asian foreign residents, so sometimes people make bad assumptions.
Usually it doesn’t much matter, isolated incidents meh, but occasionally when it happens on a regular basis over a few days or weeks, it can definitely get irritating as fuck.
But look, if my response to “Konnichiwa” were delayed by five seconds, I would definitely expect them to say “Hello”. They tried Japanese, it failed, so they moved on… And if that’s what you’re experiencing, I sympathize, because probably it is going to stay that way for the rest of your life.
I mean I think its slightly worse if you are in an immigration country. If I was in a country with very few immigration, I’d understand and I’d just accept it. But the US, where I’m at, is literally built by immigrants, and a lot of naturalizations and non-white people being born with citizenship, so… it kinda feels a bit worse, if you know what I mean.
Japan, in contrast, is a mostly homogenous society with very strict immigration controls, and it has never been an immigration country, so I do not fault them in anyway for thinking that way.
The question gets asked… In English?
How so you not answer “no, sorry; never seemed worth learning. I only know that sentence and this one explaining it.”
The question gets asked… In English?
I think the expected answer is either “Yes”, a variation of “a little bit”, or just complete silence or looking confused.
So how do you avoid the ‘fuck you’ answer?
Bruh if I said that, I’d just be making xenophobia worse.
I’m white and born and raised in the US but I had a speech impediment as a kid that resulted in people asking me where I was from, assuming I was from another country.
Lol.
Conversely, I’m ethnic Chinese but haven’t spoken mandarin for over a decade, if I ever visit China, I think they’ll probably think I have an intellectual disability or something, at least until I explain that I mostly grew up in America.
i call that passive aggressive, like you said excuse you, or “no offense”
In Japan for a.decade. I get asked all the time by people who don’t know me (I speak japanese well enough to handle anything in my family life though sometimes get help with non-routine medical and legals stuff for be safe)
Kind of the opposite. I’m an immigrant in a white country, but I’m also quite white. The amount of times someone has started a conversation about how immigrants are all terrible and lazy and should be deported back to their countries, assuming I will just agree with them, is insane. The few times I have told them I am an immigrant myself I get the “you know the ones I mean” argument and it makes it so much worse.
I’m in Germany. I don’t get the “you’re okay because you’re white” thing. I get treated like crap as soon as they realise my German isn’t fluent. It’s an absolute nightmare, I feel incredibly isolated. I live in BW. In Brandenburg people were much nicer, some people even spoke English.
I’m learning German, but I’m old and already speak 2 other languages fluently.
My mom immigrated to Canada from Ireland in the 70s and no longer has an accent. The amount of times other old white people talk negatively about immigrants to her is ridiculous. She never ceases to tell them she is an immigrant and how important all the people even now immigrating are for our country.
The only reasons our population grew was because of immigrants, without them who is going to take care of all the old people with children that are working so much they can’t raise their own families.
During holiday in Spain I was at a bar whose barkeeper migrated to Spain a couple years before
And complained about immigrants taking jobs
I’m a middle-aged white guy in the American South, salt and pepper beard, all that. I can see dudes giving me a quick eye before they say anything political.
“He might be one of us, can’t tell, better not risk talking shit.” They don’t even do the verbal testing dance, just keep it straight and level. Sometimes they look me over and it’s like they’re trying to be extra friendly, like some whites do to blacks, “I’m OK with you, really, I’m not one of them!”
I feel like they sense I don’t have my MAGA card. 😂 Best part is, I’m clueless as to what they’re seeing. I’ve had guys, talking low, shut up when I approach in public, and at 5’8" and 140lbs., I’m hardly intimidating. Just not in the club I guess. 🫤
(Might be the pin I have on all my bags, but those are fairly new. Waiting for an ass kicking over that.)
I’m torn. I’m also a 6’+ white guy, and those assholes frequently think I’m one of them. I’m not sure if I would prefer your situation, or the fact that when they try to be subtly racist I ask them point blank which of our cousins they have issues with. The look on their faces is priceless when they realize I consider all of humanity to be one family.
I’d rather they assume my politics and get slapped down with, “No. I am NOT on your side.”
Guess it depends on where you are. I’m a white guy and I can’t remember the last time someone just openly started shit talking immigrants to me. I guess maybe all the way back in highschool I heard it? But that’s mostly because highschoolers are dipshits. Immigration always seems to be this hot button topic according to the media, but I’ve lived in a lot of places and it doesn’t seem like anyone I interact with has a negative view toward them; or if they do, they keep it very close to their chest. I haven’t lived in very liberal places either, and maybe I’m just blind to it or something, but it genuinely seems like people’s attitude toward immigration ranges from sympathy and support, to not giving a single shit.
Where are you people finding these folks that just strike up a racist conversation unprompted? You talk about it like it happens regularly, but if it happened once to me I would be floored. That would be the kind of interaction that would stick with me and I’d be telling people about for months. “I had the most batshit interaction with someone the other day…”
This speaks more to the area I spent my teenage years, but I’ve been asked that because I “looked Mexican”(to quote the ones who asked). I was born in the U.S, lived here my whole life, my parents are white, English is my native tongue. Sometimes I was genuinely happy just to be asked if I spoke English, and not get a racial slur thrown into the mix.
It fucking sucks. It did give me a harsh lesson in judgement, though. One I can thankfully say I walked away from feeling like a better person.
I have BPD; making assumptions and labeling people based on feeling and looks is one of the defining symptoms.
At least I know this is a thing and can recognize when I am doing it. 🤷♂️
Bipolar Disorder?
Borderline Personality Disorder.
Thank you
At least I know this is a thing and can recognize when I am doing it. 🤷♂️
That’s the most important - and hardest - part.
Like, some assumptions will always slip through. Nobody is immune to brainfarts. But some people don’t even try to avoid them - they assume, then even as they’re called out on their assumptions they keep assuming.
I have BPD; making assumptions and labeling people based on feeling and looks is one of the defining symptoms.
I respect your personal experience, but also this is not a defining symptom of borderline personality disorder
Splitting/binary thinking are very much prominent symptoms of it. Assumptions and labels are part of that.
deleted by creator
“Many of the people who work here are Spanish, can you communicate with them?”
How did they even get hired if they get upset at that question? They should already know who they will be working with everyday.
Instead of asking “do you speak Spanish” try either “can you speak at least some basic Spanish” which would be an indication you need them to or “do you speak any other languages apart from English” which would be more like a skills assessment.
I also live in SoCal again. My dumbass took French in highschool. I can run a Spanish or Chinese speaking kitchen, but I wouldn’t say that I speak either language. Hell my French is basically useless because I haven’t had any practice in 20 years.
I hate assumptions, but specially assumptions of ignorance. (Like this one - people assuming you don’t know a certain language.) So, thankfully, I tend to avoid being the aggressor in this sort of situation.
Um… sorry if this is a weird ask, but those of you who live in immigration countries, have you ever been asked “Do you speak [Language of the country]?”
No but I’m asked fairly often where I’m from, because apparently I speak Portuguese “like a foreigner”. It doesn’t sound like micro-aggressions, unlike in your case (as there’s no assumption of ignorance), but it’s kind of annoying when it happens in the city I was born, like, some of my grand-grandparents already lived here.
As a European, when I was in Thailand no one ever asked me if I spoke Thai.
Sometimes I would ask if they did as a joke.
I just watched this glee episode last night and cringed so hard.
Sorry you get othered so much. I wish ya the best.
Just respond back in perfect English, no sorry I don’t, do you speak “whatever” Klingon would be good then go learn Klingon and try carry on the conversation
Q’plah, p’tak!
I bought a chocolate bar out of the vending machine at work. It was a gift for someone else. A lady in the waiting room asked me if I was pregnant.
My wife’s half Japanese/Filipino, the later by birthplace and culture. As a middle-aged white guy I had no idea Asians faced much if any discrimination. Yeah, I’m eat up with privilege, not gonna apologize, born that way. I’d understood where black people stood since my early 20s, and much the same for Hispanics, not totally clueless.
At an interview a lady asked if she was Mexican or Asian, was visibly disgusted when she said “Asian”. So many stories like that. There’s a seriously insecure woman at her job, constantly on the prowl, attacks her at every opportunity. My wife is not one to pull the race card, I now take her seriously when she does. OTOH, even the Filipino women are back stabbing bitches around here!
She’s excelling at her job, works mostly from home for the credit union. I’ve trained such classes, 50K+ calls under my belt, I certify her as top notch. Customers are always asking if she’s Indian! Her accent is thick, but perfectly clear, and nothing like Indians or Hispanics. FFS, I don’t expect the man-on-the-street to be as good as I am as discerning ethnicity by looks or by accent, but Hindi or Spanish?! When people ask is she’s Hispanic of some sort, told her, “Do the slanty eye mime. Pointedly.” There’s your sign. (She calls girls with seriously slanty eyes “chinky eyes”. “BABY. You cannot say that in America.” “Why not? It’s true.” “It’s a racial slur.” <puzzled look>)
