• acastcandream@beehaw.org
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      11 months ago

      Please do not disregard the obsidian sphere in the Night Vale public swimming pool. Make sure to give it all due attention. But not too much attention, so as to make things weird. Too little attention, unfortunately, will also bring about its ire, and we all remember what happened last time. Simply apply the recommended amount of regard to its ominous, strangely comforting hum, as it gently lulls you to sleep.

      And now: the weather.

        • acastcandream@beehaw.org
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          11 months ago

          Nice to meet you, Big Fan. There are many properties of your anatomy I believe the sheriff’s secret police would find useful. I’ll recommend you to their internship program, which is compulsory and slightly moist.

    • Ook the Librarian@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      There have been reports of a large black orb near the dog park. Ignore them. There is no orb. Nor is there a dog park. Besides, mysterious, humming orbs are nothing to worry about anyway. So why are you bothered by these reports? And now, the weather:

      • flicker@kbin.social
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        11 months ago

        In fact, I would much rather live in a community where a wholesome, humming orb would be a welcome sight. If people report every single ominous orb that they see, why, there would be less majesty in this world. That sounds like the kind of austere, silent community that Desert Bluffs wants to be, and do we really want that to be the place we call home, dear listener?

        • Ook the Librarian@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          Come to think of it, just who are these people who would busy themselves submitting frivolous reports an ominous orb? Could it be Jan? Jan, who takes it upon themselves to scold the children for looking at the solar eclipse? What else don’t you want us to see, Jan?