So for those of you unaware, last night someone claiming to be a long-time poster confessed to being in a sexual + romantic relationship with what turned out to be a minor 15 years his junior. (Here is the post for additional context.) Several people - myself included - failed to immediately condemn the relationship and in fact sympathized with OP and put blame on the kid for lying to and manipulating OP (who claimed to be unaware of the kid’s actual age until the cops told him), completely ignoring the fact that a 15-year-old cannot consent to such a relationship. Even if he jumps through a bunch of hoops to illegally get into a kink space and fabricates an of-majority-age persona in order to get with a much older man. In my own case, I believe that my own perception of the situation - not helped by OP’s way of telling the story - was warped such that the sexual side of the relationship was sidelined in favor of the more emotional side, as well as having an incorrect perception of consent as it pertains to teenagers going in. Either way, I admit that my gut reaction was wrong both legally and probably morally, and that I clearly have much to learn about consent and sexual laws and norms (from harassment to rape.)

My recommendation to the mod team would be to permaban all people whose first reaction was to side with OP (yes, including me), and have a stern discussion with the site about the gravity and absoluteness of consent, especially with respect to children and teenagers (to cover the rest of your asses.) Advice on further steps to be taken would also be appreciated.

Shout-out to u/BeamBrain for shaming me and setting me straight. I hope the few others who sided with OP have also come to realize the error of their ways.

  • aaro [they/them, she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    10·
    1 year ago

    That’s kind of what my only contribution was investigating. I’m personally bad with faces and by extension clocking people’s ages, and the thought of this happening is extremely upsetting to me. That’s why I’d never engage in adult activities with any person I know to be under 24 or would clock as a day under 24 (as a 29 year old). In my mind OP’s big shortcoming here was not recognizing that weakness in themselves and having a similar policy in place. OP did a fair amount of due diligence, but clearly the consequence of not enough due diligence is so dire that there’s no choice but to just have a stricter no-go policy.